I Find Release In Him!!

Went 2 fellowship w StrikeForce contactheads today, well @ least those who could make it. We joked, laughed & teased 1 another as if e whole of "Lau Pa Sa" belonged 2 us. The past few weeks of training 4 NDP was quite intense, so it was a good break 4 all of us. Bro Boon arrived later w Sis Angela & Heidi. She's so cute!!! As usual, we took a lot of pics of her. HaHa..

Bro Boon brought e NDP preview DVD 4 us 2 watch. Thank God Luke brought his lap top. :) It was good!! Could see e enthusiasm & energy of our guys. E camera & commentators focused a lot on us, mentioning StrikeForce a lot of times & making good comments. Praise God we r impacting e marketplace through arts! Thank U God 4 being part of history being made, 4 e ministry & allowing me 2 grow here. :)

Went 2 watch "Pirates of The Carribean II" w Irenus & Julia after tat. Good show.. We were laughing through most of it. Julia & I had "Mo Chi" (flow) today. Went went 2 but titbits & we answered e cashier exactly e same thing, twice, we even stopped & continued our sentence @ e same time. Then during e movie previews, they shoed a penguin animation, & we both said: "So cute!" @ e same time. HaHa.. So funny.. :D

Oh Yah!! Cannot forget e most important thing! Went 4 service today. Praise God I was e 1st 2 reach & was able 2 get space in front. E msg by Pst Mike Connell was good. Talked about deliverance. During ministry, many ppl were delivered, including me! In my mind I was imaging how I'd react, & it prevented me from being touched by God. But it came 2 a point where e HS juz said, "don't care, if not I can't move!" So u can guess e rest. Manifested & cried like a baby. An usher stuffed my face into a plastic bag. HaHa.. But I thank God 4 his deliverance. Was actually stuborn & refused 2 admit I had a need, but I thank God 4 setting tat right. Now I have a duty & responsibility 2 stay free. So help me Holy Spirit. :)

It's Monday.. xlaosher has 2 hand in her FYPs. I pray tat all goes well 4 her. :)

???

Been reaching home late e past few dayz. Muz be focus. Can't juz go out all e time. Muz be disciplined & be responsible.

SF shifted 2 a bigger warehouse space on Monday. It is twice e size we had b4, but somehow after we put in e drums from NDP, we won't have much space left. Have 2 plan on how 2 store e stuff in an effective & efficient way, so e space is fully utilized & we can find things easily. Somehow love doing warehouse logistics. Maybe I should consider going into this line.. HaHa..
Everybody in SF so bz now preparing 4 NDP. If it's not practise, it's doing something @ e warehouse, but I love doing it. :)

Need 2 be focus. God has been showing me a lot of things I have 2 change. Needa pray more too. Prayed w Esmond & Esther on Sunday after prac. Where 2 or more stand in agreement, there e presence & power of God will be. Needa pray more 4 e ministry, e leaders, e members & our focus as a ministry. Thank God I got Esmond & Esther standing in e gap w me. Love'ya guyz.

Needa be a man of my word, even 2 my own hurt! There is nothing more important than a man's word. Coz that is wat shapes him & how he is valuated by ppl. If I say it, I gotta do it! Juz like God was 2 His word, so will I be. Needa better balance my time too. Can't be overly committed 2 one thing & neglecting e rest, like King Solomon, I wanna put my time & house (meaning life) in order. If I can't lead my own life, how can I lead others.

I'm a happy man. Happy coz I gotta friend who remembers me, no matter how far. I've got this Secondary school friend who migrated when we were 15. We spent 1yr together as classmates & we bonded even stronger than superglue. We would chat occasionally on msn. But wat touched me most is that everytime he comes back 2 Singapore, he would call on me, whioch is once every 2 yrs or so). It's been 12 yrs now & he juz came back yesterday 4 a holiday. Going out w him tomorrow. So excited!!

Why God are You so good to me,
Just when I felt all alone in a crowd
You brought me back a friend.

Though we've been apart for so long,
And the vast ocean divides us,
You gave us a special bond
Not many will ever experience.
Though we hardly see each other,
Though we never hear each others voice,
We will always remember each other
Through time times time.

i Thank You Lord for my friend Danny..

Cleaning In Progress..

Had a long talk w God. Seemed i paced around my hall like 50+ times. Haha.. But somehow when u r in God's presence, e journey doesn't seem so tough or so long.

Sunday service was good. Pastor is in e series of making marriage work. Talk about certain things u have 2 let go 2 make a relationship work. Really changed my mindset as i realise if i wanna really make it work, there r a lot of things I have 2 do 2 prove myself.

Was quite upset today. Many ppl who said they were coming 4 StrikeForce training backed out last min. Talked 2 my ppl, challenged & encouraged them, but somehow it still irks on me how we've gone so far & done so much, yet many ppl have not caught e vision! Maybe I'm juz being too demanding.. But I'm some1 who won't let a person get left behind. I wanna be faithful 2 God over e lives He has put into my hands. Help me God, coz many times I'm lost & do not know wat 2 do. Plz fill me w more of U, 2 e point of overflowing, if not I have nothing 2 offer them. U r e Light, I am Your mirror, I juz wanna shine 4 U my Lord.

Had an arguement in e evening. Am I that stifling & unreasonable? Why izzit whenever I try 2 encourage & lighten up e situation, it seems 2 be taken -vely by e other party? Lord plz help me have a breakthrough in this area. I'm @ e end of e road Lord & do not know wat 2 do. Plz be e center of e relationship so as not 2 have confussion & misunderstandings.

Love suffers long & is kind;
Love does not envy;
Love does not parade itself,
Is not puffed up.

Does not behave rudely,
Does not seek its own,
Is not provoked,
Thinks no evil;
Does not enjoy in iniquity,
But rejoices in the truth;

Bears all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love NEVER fails.

1 Cor 13:4-8

Reservist & Encounters With God!

YoYoYo.. Finally back home after 5days of reservist. It was a good experience, meeting up w an old friend, instructors & base personnels who remember us. Juz learned tat my Officer-in-Charge (OC) really liked me a lot during my active days in NS. Thank God I'm was shining 4 Him back then & even now, in my camp. :)

Monday
Booked in 4 my 1st In Camp Training (ICT). They briefed us on wat 2 expect, & we had revision on how use e M16 rifle! It's been 2yrs since I last touched it, & was a little rusty when it came 2 e technical handling. But thank God I passed all e test. They wanted use 2 shoot e next day! Was totally unprepared 4 it & was a little nervous. Thank God they allowed us 2 go home 2 get our things. Couldn't find my ear plugs. HaHa..

Tuesday
Reached camp @ 7am! So early. Went 2 Pasir Lebar firing range. So close 2 e Jurong West Building. Forgot how loud & powerful e M16 was. It's reminded me of Emerge! when e "fireworks" went off. E recoil also stunned me during "zeroing". But praise God! I scored 87.5% hit! Marksman! KeKeKe.. So fun.. Can't wait till we do this again next year. :p

Wednesday
Had our IPPT. Praise God I could glorify Him again! Got a silver award although I haven't been exercising! Last time I did chin-up 2 months back, I could only do 3, but somehow I did 7 today! Hallelujah!! Did physical arrangement in e afternnon in preparation for e Change-of-Command Parade on Friday. Apparantly, tat was e main reason they called us back 4 reservist. *peng*

Thursday
Nothing much happened today in camp. Watched a few defense video, did more PA, & was allowed 2 go home early. Oh.. My instructor mentioned he had never ever seen such a tightly knitted group. HaHa..
Went 4 CG @ nite. Was a GREAT meeting. E last week, God had been showing me tat He loved me & showed me e promises He had made 2 me. Some which had come 2 past, & some still work in progress. But in all, He showed me how close He was 2 me & how much He loved me. He also challenged me 2 believe in His promises though some of them may seem impossible now. Had a great time w Him during my quiet time this week as He filled me w His presence. But somehow during CG today, I wanted much much more than wat I had been experiencing e past few dayz. & when I had made tat prayer, Sis Jo changed e direction of e CG & we really entered into God's presence. Many ppl was touched & cried. CG sermon was wat God had been speaking 2 me during e week again. HaHa..

Thank You my Lord
For Your touch & promises,
You are faithful till the very end.
Your Word remains & will never fail,
You alone are worthy to be praised.
Who am I for You will hear my cry?
Who am I that You are there 4 me?
Why do You honour me a mere man?
What have I done to gain Your favour?

As I ponder & pray
About this mystery set before me,
He shows me that it is not what I have done
Or who I am that He does all this,
But it is because of who HE is
& His grace set before me.
& that it is by my success,
His name will be glorified,
& the whole world will praise His name.

Friday
Watched more defense videos. Also watched a clip on bombs & its impact. Interesting.. Did marshalling in the afternoon. The ppl we tended 2 were surpised by our presence & professionalism. Usually reservist don't do such things. HaHa.. Was voted "Best Reservist" by my peer group. HaHa.. Overall my week w them was awesome! & I believe they were impacted as much as I was.. Hope 2 see them again next year. :)

miracles upon miracles!

We had a guest speaker 4 today's service, Dr Chee Ahn. Spoke about faith & healing. He also spoke about wat I prayed about e nite b4! About e Gentile woman & her faith! HaHa.. Y God do u have such a sense of humor?? I love u SOOOO..

Saw many ppl being healed, including 2 ppl I knew. Guinan dislocated his shoulders during NDP preview yesterday, but after he was prayed 4, he took of e support & starting moving his arms! He even came 4 prac in e evening as if nothing ever happened! David who fractured his leg in a motorbike accident 3 weeks ago came w/o a cast today too! & he's recovering so fast! Praise God that healing IS 4 today!

I thank God 4 His love & mercy. E last few days, He'd been building me up 4 today's sermon. He's been speaking 2 me using past memories, present promises being fulfilled & other ppl's testimoies. He's shown me how close & real He is 2 me & how my faith have brought certain things 2 past. He's also showed me that there r other areas I which He has spoken 2 me about in which I need 2 have more faith in. It is difficult, but I WILL do my best & trust in God, coz He is e 1 who had us in mind & saw us even b4 He formed e world. His thoughts 4 us r of good & His ways r higher than our ways. Coz when we succeed, we look good, & when we look good, He also looks good, coz we reflect Him, & ppl r drawn into His presence.

I thank God 4 not giving up on me though many times I give up on myself. He always picks me up when I cry out 2 Him, & He makes me stronger & wiser.

Going 4 reservist tomorrow morning. Muz pray 4 Isreal & God's ppl. So much happening there now.

NDP Preview - National Education

Today we had NDP preview 4 all those in Primary 5. They r so full of life & energy, it was my great pleasure 2 perform in front of them. Was assigned 2 e top of e Big Drum today. It's like e spot light of e performance w powerful beams of light focusing on us! HaHa.. The experience was a 1st 4 me, so I was definately excited. Could see everything from up there, & the pyro was awesome!

A few unfortunate events occured today. Many key ppl were still in Taiwan 4 Emerge! So many of us less experienced ppl were left 2 hold e fort! Alas, Julia was sick & had 2 leave for home. She was in charge of today's attendence. Choon Whee was also down w flu, so he supported us backstage. Guinan fell & dislocated his shoulder & had 2 be sent 2 hospital. God has placed us here 2 make an impact in our community, but every time e devil throws things 2 pull us down. So we gotta be strong & lean on God's strength. He's e 1 who leads us here 4 a purpose, & He's e 1 who will see us through!

Went 2 pick Bro Boon from e airport in e morning. I was late again. :p He was standing out @ e loading area by e time I arrived. Slightly injured him too as e van jerked forward as he loaded his things. *Oops* Met Jennifer Lam after that. She teaches @ TPJC & was having a meet e parents session. We headed down 2 eat soya bean @ Geylang w Kangwei & Bryan. She's such a pleasent person, always smiling & laughing. Reminds me of some1 *cough*cough* :p

My muscles r acheing from today's activities, better get some rest & be prepared 4 tomorrow..

Things 2 Ponder..

Have u ever stayed up late 2 watch a movie or chat on msn. Although u r very tired & eyes about 2 close, u'll force urself awake juz 2 see e outcome of e show. Or juz bcoz u r enjoying e conversation, ur eyes r juz glued 2 ur computer screen in expectation of wat e other party had 2 say.

Since my exams ended mid June , I've been indulging myself in wat I've always wanted 2 do. Serving in ministry overtime most nites & playing video games into e wee hours of e morning while chatting on-line. Somehow when u r doing wat u love, u juz can't seem 2 leave it. even w ppl it's like that, when u enjoy e person's presence, u'll juz wanna spend all ur time w e person. More than juz indulging, it has become an addiction which I juz realized today. When u do not know when 2 stop & take a breather, wat u enjoy can become a horrible nightmare as it begins 2 take over ur life. Serving becomes a means of false security & control, gaming becomes ur world than a form of relaxation, e person u enjoy company turns into lust! Wow.. Sounds serious isn't it. It actually is!! & many times we r so into it w such passion tat we do not realise a good has become a bad!

It is juz amazing how we can bury ourselves in so much, force ourselves awake @ nite & when @ e end of it all, we say we r too tired 2 talk 2 Jesus. Didn't wanna pray juz now, but e HS drew me into His presence. It's been like that e past few nites. Most of e time I'd say, "sorry Jesus, I'm too tired mentally, physically & emotionally, can i do it tomorrow?" But as we know tomorrow never comes. I thank God 4 His mercies, 4 calling 2 me inspite of my laziness, & I realize as I spend time w Him, e tiredness will go away. Pressing into His presence takes time & effort, but it's all worth while when u get a touch from Him.

If only we can be addicted 2 Jesus & His presence all the time instead of all that I've mentioned above! But God doesn't want that as well. If not we become 2 flaky & irrelevent 2 e world we live in today. But God does want us 2 spend time w Him, He enjoys our presence & conversation as much as we enjoy His, He wants 2 be e centre balancing force of our lives! It 's like a game I used 2 play as a kid called "topple". The idea of e game is 2 unbalance a circular scale in such a manner that when e next player has his turn, he topples e whole balance! We r that balance, & God is e centre of that balance. Many times we spend too much time in 1 area & topple e whole thing. God wants us 2 trust in Him & lead a balanced life. Sometimes we make family, e person we love, ministry, our activities our god w/o realizing it! It's hard sometimes 2 let go, but it has 2 be done, if not we'll juz topple our own lives & make a mess of it.

So into ur hands I trust Lord Jesus. All I am & have, I surrender 2 U. U r e centre of my life & I'll trust in U 2 live a balanced life. 2 do my best in everything, yet know when 2 let go. U will be e increase & U will be glorified in e process.

Into Your Hands, I Commit Again
With All I Am, For You Lord
You Hold My World, In The Palm Of Your Hand
& I Am Yours, Forever

Jesus I Believe, In You
Jesus I Belong, To You
You're The Reason I Believe
The Reason That I Sing, With All I Am

I'll Walk With You, Wherever You Go
Through Tears & Joy, I'll Trust In You
& I Will Live, In All Of Your Ways
& Your Promises, Forever

I Will Worship, I Will Worship You
I Will Worship, I Will Worship You

God Shows Me His Goodness Today..

Woke up real early today. Like 9am. Early coz i slept like 3-4am. But somehow I feel refreshed. Had a great time w my Lord last nite. Really poured out my heart 2 Him & e amazing thing is, He always gives a loving response, showing me He's always there & He cares.

Went 2 play golf w my dad. Not really into e game right now, it's like not e right season. But I guess God had other plans. Bonded w my dad, we got closer, or should i say i understand my dad better & wat he's going through. Had a good game. Scored so good it's as if i had not stopped 4 months. haha.. Lost my hp on e course, but thank God I found it hidden in e thick grass like a needle in a haystack.

Made a few calls 2 Bro Boon in Taiwan regarding his van which we sent 4 servicing. E service charge was $766! & they wanted 2 change e rear view wiper 4 $19 & e engine center mounting which cost $161!!! So includidng GST, e total cost would amount 2 more than $1,000!! My goodness!! But PRAISE GOD!!! After a few overseas call & speaking 2 e person-in-charge they found that e parts were still under warrenty! So Bro Boon can save on e $161. HALLELUJAH!!

Cleared up a BIG misunderstanding juz now. I really hate miscommunication, & even worse, e lack of communication. It always leaves a wrong impression & gives way 2 misunderstanding & feelings getting hurt. We had a short talk on msn & things r cleared now. Thank U Holy Spirit 4 intervening on my behalf. It will take time & energy 4 trust 2 be reinstated. I will put in e effort.

All in all, God answered all my sorrows in a day. All that I give 2 Him, He has shown faithful 2 turn it around, & I will praise Him 4 that. Not all things r perfect, but He has shown me His favor & shown me that thing do work out when we truet in Him IN HIS TIMING. Bcoz of this I will love Him & trust Him even more.

I love U Abba Father
I love U Holy Spirit
I love U Jesus my Saviour

A man without a vision perish,
A man with a vision can do great things,
A man running with a vision from God
can do even more & has no limits 2 how far he can go.

Discipleship In Progress..

What an exciting day. Woke up late. Overslept.. Oops.. Got e equipment down late, but praise God they got everything through. Sent Bro Boon off @ e airport & thank God I was early this time. Spent some time w Heidi & saw how in love Bro Boon & Sis Angela were. HaHa..

Poor Jennifer, she missed her flight bcoz her passport was void. She spent more than $50 in cab fair rushing 2 get e paperwork down, hoping 2 make e flight, but 2 no avail. Alas she had 2 spend e nite w Sis Angela. Hopefully she can get all e paperwork done by tomorrow morning & catch e afternoon flight. She's already on a tight budget & all this has 2 happen. But everything that happens happen 4 a reason! :)

Went down 2 Bro Boon's place. Fellowship w Sis Angela & Jennifer. We spent most of our time playing w Heidi actually. She's so cute! Getting cuter & prettier as e days go by. :) But once she's fallen asleep, fellowship turned into discipleship.

I'm so blessed 2 have a great leader & his wife discipling me. Many ppl think that we come 4 StrikeForce prac juz 2 have a good time. But it is more than that. If u press in, & r humble 2 avail urself 2 serve, e amount of discipleship & intermacy is expounding! I thank God 4 Bro Boon who disciples me in e way I play & do things, he sharpens 2 pushes me2 be better. I thank God for Sis Angela who is able 2 get into e matter of e heart & bring it out. In a way, Bro Boon build up my character & spirit & Sis Angela build me up emotionally & spiritually.

As I said above, all things that happens happen 4 a reason. Jennifer & I learned a great deal from Sis Angela today. :D & e way of discipleship is sooo different, yes they r our leaders, but they @ times they speak 2 us on a friendship & more intermate level. I thank U God 4 answering my prayers & giving me leaders whom I can relate 2 & who can help me. People I can open up 2 & not be afraid. :) Did a lot of things I shouldn't have done, & in e process, lost the thing I hold the dearest. Father, I'm believing U 4 other things as well. As I trust in U, U will fill my spiritual tank up as well as my emotional tank. When U r in e centre of things, all things work 4 e good of those who love U & obey ur commandments. All in Ur perfect time.


All I Need Is You Lord
Is You Lord
All I Need Is You

All I Need Is You Lord
Is You Lord
All I Need Is You

You Hold, The Universe
You Hold, Everyone On Earth
You Hold, The Universe
You Hold, You Hold
All I Need Is You...

You Are My World, You Are My God
& I Lay Down My Life For You
You Are My Lord, The One I Love
No One Could Ever Take Your Place

Lonely! :(

Ever felt that u've got ppl & friends around u, yet u feel lonely? It's like u r laughing & look like u r enjoying urself, but deep down an emotional battle is being waged.

Nobody likes 2 be ignored, especially when it's some1 u care about. Relationship is being built up when u spend time w e person & communicate. But somehow all things seem 2 be going in e opposite direction. Every word said & every action taken seems 2 have a -ve effect. It feels like I'm taking a plunge down a bottomless pit. Am I that repulsive? Many times e devils put thoughts of failure & giving up into my mind, many times I resist, but there comes 2 a point where even e strongest will be shaken.

Been so affected by it that it has affected many other area of my life. Emotional battery down 2 zero. Spiritual life being drained away too. GOD WHERE R U!!! Cried 2 God a few times, even when I'm driving. Somehow He always tells me even when I'm rebellious where I've gone wrong & where I have 2 change. Y can't she be like that too, rather than expect me 2 gues & she gets pissed after that. Haiz.. Real emotional roller coaster.

But God U said in UR Word: "A bruised reed, He will not break, a smoking flax He will not quench, till He sends justice to victory. And in His name Gentiles will trust." Mtt12:20-21. Many times we remember e 1st part, & leave out e 2nd part. God wants us 2 suceed! So we will trust Him even more. Many times we go through e mountain top experience & we praise God, but there r times we have 2 go through e valleys, & that's when our faith will be put 2 e test & we be made strong. Many times ppl look @ valley experiences as e devil's attack when it is actually God bringing us through this journey to reach e promise land. & in e same process, He mould us & shape us. Thank u Holy Spirit for this fresh revelation.

GOD ABOVE IN U I TRUST
OVER THE MOUNTAINS & THROUGH THE VALLEYS
THROUGH BRIGHT SUNNY DAYS & STORMY NIGHTS
WHEN THE SEAS ARE CALM & WHEN THE WATERS ARE RAGING
WHEN I AM IN DESPAIR & DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO
I TURNED & LOOK & FOUND U THERE

IN GOOD TIMES & BAD YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
WHEN I WAS HAPPY, WHEN I WAS SAD
YOU WERE THERE FOR ME & YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

WHO IS THERE LIKE YOU IN HEAVEN OR ON EARTH
WHO KNOWS US INSIDE OUT & CAN RELATE TO HOW WE FEEL
WHO WENT TO THE CROSS TO SHOW US HOW HE CARES

SO IN GOD ALONE I TRUST
IN GOOD TIMES & IN BAD, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE
COZ HE KNOWS WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH
& HE PROMISED TO SEE US THROUGH

GOD I LOVE U GOD I TRUST YOU
INTO YOUR HANDS I GIVE ALL TO YOU

-Darryl

*Bleah*

Been having fever since Sunday, maybe due 2 e sun or overstretching myself. Feeling lousy. Eat, sleep, play a bit of computer games. Lame!

Went 4 tech run on Tue night @ Hyatt, & actual performance on Wed morning. DarShan was having fever too. Went straight home after e events on e 2 days. Saw a few things worth taking pics of on sale @ Hyatt's jewellery shop. All cost more than $10k, some even $40k-$50k! Apparently most of e shops there cater 2 e VERY RICH!























Head still spinning. Gonna get some shut eye...

Germany Wins Through Penalties! Woaho!!

Yeah!! Wat an exciting match! So much yellow cards & injury. There was even a fight after e game! lol

Dad woke me up @ 7:30am today! So early! I promised 2 go up Malaysia w him 4 a game of golf. A game I enjoy but so forgotten how 2 play. lol Actually set my alarm clock @ 9:30am, so only had 4hrs of sleep again. haha.. Had breakfast in Malaysia. 2 bowls of my favourite, meepok, which cost us RM$20!!! Expensive even by our standard! But it was good. :p Reached e golf course @ 10am & found tat it was closed 4 a competition. lol So we came all e way up juz 2 have breakfast. :p Reached home @ 11:30am?? Both me & my dad went straight 2 sleep. We were actually very tired, dad also didn't sleep much last nite, but we were too stuborn 2 admit it. lol :p

Met Zhu @ her workplace @ 9:15pm. Didn't know she was working till 10pm. E mocha I bought from Auntie Annie's melted away & tasted horrible. :p Had a GREAT TIME, even if it was only 2 send her home. Every minute spent is worthwhile. :) Watched e Germany Argentina match w my dad. Was so exciting I was shouting! lol We msged back & forth throughout 2nd half onward. It's so much cheaper 2 call, but somehow she doesn't like 2 talk on e phone. HaHa.. Personal preferance I guess. :p

Better turn in soon. Sentosa gig tomorrow..