Someone juz asked me how come I've not updated my blog. Answer: If it ain't nothing nice, don't blog it. lol Don't complain for others to read, write positive & u'll live positive. =)
Going through some tough times. Studying n working is not easy. When u focus on 1, th eother suffers. Examz coming in May. Going to stop work soon. But no work= no money, & financial situation @ home is going into danger zone soon. So much 2 weigh. On 1 hand have 2 provide, on the other have 2 excell in my studies. *haiz*
Was feeling rather empty too. Was wondering y i'm notexperiencing e breakthrough I need. Something someone said keeps ringing in my head:" don't always take God's Word n twist it for your own benefit!"
That really stunned me a lot & it haunted me for months, & honestly those were hard words which hurt me a lot. But it got me thinking & seeking the answer to an important question. Wat is a balanced doctrine? On 1 hand God says "I'll give u the desires of ur heart", on the other hand He says "u ask n have not received because u ask amiss". On 1 hand He says "U r a conquerer", on the other He says "this n much more u will have with tribulation". Tried 2 talk 2 someone i thought i could turn 2 for help n council, but alas when i opened up 2 her she could not provide me with wanted i needed to know.
Almost reached an emotional breakdown.
Decided to fast n pray. Cried out 2 God n humbled myself n God heard my cries.
Went for prayer meeting after work. N there i found the presence of God. As we praised n worship i knew a breakthrough was happening, a renewing of my mind was taking place. As pastor Kong shared w us n i heard Sun's songs, i knew God was speaking to me, tat He knows wat I am going through n He is always there. All answers 2 my questions became suddenly so clear.
God gives us His Word n promises. Sometimes tat word is only 4 us, n others will not understand it. Coz tat Word n promise was not meant 4 them. But when the Word n promise comes 2 pass, then they will understand.
God wants 2 give us the desires of our heart, but sometimes the way we ask for it is like tat of a spoilt child- "the give me!" attitude. So instead of getting the blessings of God which He intended 4 us, we get His restraints n disciplines us like a good parent would.
God has indeed made us conquerers. But 2 conquer means 2 fight n take dominion over. Therefore there is no such thing as a easy victory. It's through battles won n lost we learn character n values, we learn wat it means 2 love n treasure.
Most importantly I learned that when things r not going the way I want it, I should run 2 God n not away from Him. Running into HIS arms is better than running into bigger troubles. So although I do not see the promises coming to past yet, I will do my best with wat is given 2 me now n continue 2 trust the promisor.
