My Story

2007-04-16T01:58:00.000+08:00

HEADLINE NEWS:

Boon & daughter hard @ work with Drumfest!

Finally

2007-04-07T13:58:00.000+08:00

Finally after 1 week of banging on my keyboard & trashing my laptop around, i finally got e connection up again.. Aparently, e problem was not w my laptop but e router. *pengz*

Went Genting w my family last week. So nice n cool up there, juz like australia, i wish i was living there. The rainy weather left us spending most of our time in e casino playing slot machine. *Boring* The next morning i bumped into sleepy faced SF Jaslyn! She juz got off the night bus from Singapore. So hard to sleep on e bus. *sheeze* She was there w her family too. Mistook her uncle for her bf. :p
The 2nd day, I saw my cousin Barry, he came up w his gaming friends. They were all below 21yrs, except for my cousin, n tried 2 sneak in 2 e casino unsuccessfully. *haha* Spent 1 night w him playing slots. He won about $1000 on 2cents slot games! *dotz*

Some pics of the place:

Sunrise

Noon view from my room

Rainy day.. The clouds come into e room. lol

The passage way leading from my hotel 2 my cousin's 1. We walked through there around 1am, it's like a scene from a horror show. =X

how did this get in here? :p
so cuteeee..

Went drumbumming e day after i came back. Was stopped by e police, so it'll be on hold for a bit. She was there! :) Tried 2 talk 2 her, but she's still so closed up. Haiz.. Slowly lah.. :)

Played e horseman n forester for our last SF gig, & i played e UDM too. HURRAY!! Knew only half of e UDM part, but thank God i caught it after 3 attempts. It's so fun yet pressurizing, coz e focus is on u during e gig. 100 of eyes watching u perform in glee. 1 goal for the year achieved: to master n play e extended UDM. =D

misunderstandings..

2007-03-26T20:14:00.000+08:00

Today's a hectic day. Woke up @ 11am, packed my bag, rushed 2 e airport 2 welcome Boon back, had lunch w those who came, rushed 4 BS @ SMU, met my parents for dinner, & finally here i am taking a 15min breather b4 i leave.

Bye ppl.. I'm gonna totally disappear! For 5 days anyway. Gotta take a break from everything, clear my mind, spend some time w my family. Much needed vaccation b4 my examz start (haha.. wrong mood :p ).

Was talking with Jo my ZS. Been some time since we could sit down & talk about things other than service, cg & BS. Talked about her wedding preperations, my studies & relationship. Was a little taken aback when she talked about some1 in particular, coz i thought she knew everything tat was going on. Found out that her CG was on sundays, so i was kinda harsh & not understanding towards her. For that i deserve a slap. *SLAP!* It is so easy to get the wrong idea & jump 2 conclusions, especially when there's a lack of communication & we always assume. Have to really work on that aspect. so slap again to me! *SLAP!* Muz get out of this silly spiritual stumbling block. :p

Anyway wanna really focus on my studies right now, do the best I can & do well, after that help the already overworked committee with the drumfest in June. So much to do, cannot get distracted. After that then maybe, juz maybe i'll try to start over again if God allows & she's willing 2 forgive me. Till then, FOCUS!!

Bye all.. *released*

Drum Bum II

2007-03-26T02:05:00.000+08:00

Brought the guys Drum Bumming today. Was exciting as many ppl came today & we were more organised. Yesterday only had 6 ppl, all from svc 1 (that really showed the commitment level of the ppl :\ ). Really tired walking around between groups & studying the patterns & way we advertise. Was really happy with today's results. We caught many ppl's attention & the buzz was in the air! Heard "drumfest" being mentioned everywhere i went. Much more planning & coordinating needed. GREAT JOB GUYS!! =D Tired.. Need sleep.. ZZzz..

Oh yah!! Jennifer was quite pissed. One of the performance video was overwritten. Nothing to show boss. *gulp*
Boss coming back tomorrow. Much work to be done. Pray 4 Angela. Tummy getting bigger, Heidi can't wait 4 the arrival of her new sibling. :)

ZZZzz..

Impacted Life..

2007-03-24T02:05:00.000+08:00

Today was my last day @ work. Spent my last 2 days teaching my replacement what to do. Thank God she's a fast learner. A little worried for her though, it took me 3 weeks 2 get the hang of things, she has 2 be able to catch it within the week, if not Jeremy will have 2 handle 3 person's work. *gulp*

We had lunch @ Vivo Marche! The bill came to $100!! & my supervisor treated me! WoW!! Not only that, he bought me this Star Wars figurine the size of my PlayStation! That muz have cost him a bomb! Not only that, He arranged a position for me in Supply Chain Management. So after my examz I got a job doing supply planning for Fuji Xerox!WoW!! Talk about being blessed.

Looking back I remember the fun times me, Jeremy & our supervisor had. He always looked out for us, treating us to ice-cream & titbits almost every week. His heavy steps & cheerful voice always perks me up. He even went to the trouble of preparing me for the job in SCM & treating me as if I a perm staff & not a temp. I'm really gonna miss him. =( We exchanged no. Gotta keep in touch with him. He gave so much & taught so much, never once expecting anything in return. My 8 months with Fuji Xerox was a wonderful experience. For once I've found that work can be enjoyable, esp if u have the right relationships. :)

Now it is time for me 2 focus on my exams. The lessons I've learned working here & values I've acquired I will not forget. Hopefully in the near future, I will be able to impact the ppl i come to contact with, the same way my supervisor has impacted mine.

Tired? Worned Out?

2007-03-23T00:04:00.000+08:00

After what seemed like eternity, I finally had the chance 2 be home before 8pm today. Imagine e shock on my mom's face when i stepped into e house, "your home early.."

Juz days earlier I remembered staying till 8 plus in the office, juz to be able to send files out to my overseas correspondants. That & the nights of gym, practises & studying for my examz have really been eating into my personal time with my family. To top it off, problems with ppl, finances & sleep deprivation has taken a toll on me.

For once it was good to be home early, the cheery faces of my parents also brought calm & peace in my already overstrained & overworked body. The dinner of lamb chops & potatos tasted great, not because of the ingredients that went in, but the love & effort put into preparing it. Our quality time consisted of watching tv together appreciating each others warmth & company. Even though it was a short 2hrs, it was as if we'd been doing this every night. Even after my parents had retired for the night, i spent a good while in front of the tv, appreciating e rest i found at home & the moments of time i have with my parents.

It's at times like these i feel God's presence & love the most. When i'm neck high almost drowning in my activities & problems, He always shows up & says, "hey.. slow down! relax! there's much to do, much 2 achieve, but don't lose sight of the good things I've placed in your life in the process." It's like Mary & Martha in the bible. Mary chose to busy herself with work & serving ppl tat she got burnt out. Martha on the other hand chose to spend time enjoy Jesus presence & His goodness.

In our present day & age, time seem to be speeding up & running out! There's so much to do, so much to accomplish & experience but there's not enough time! More, more, more we want MORE!! To an extent that we forget to aprreciate the important thing that God have given us. Things like rest, family, deeper relationships r thought 2 be less important if not forgotten. What kind of life are we living today? One which we rush through gaining everything but experiencing nothing, or one which is full of experience & understanding.

I believe that God has a plan for all of us & He didn't give us this life juz to work it away. If not He wouldn't have made Eden a beautiful garden. He would have made a factory instead. All that we have; our work, time & experiences, life, are God's gifts to us. We need to strike a balance in all areas. U can't focus on one area & leave the rest out. Coz they all add up 2 what makes us human.

A pic taken from my office overlooking the warfs.
God I'm gonna miss this place. But i thank God that they've confirmed a position for me & i'll be back after my examz which will be in 2 months. =)

300

2007-03-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

Watched 300 e other day. Awesome show!! Apart from e hug biceps & 6 packs which I'd been trying so hard 2 achieve, e values & beliefs of e king of Sparta impressed much on me.

How many of us know why & wat r we living for? R there things & values which we r willing 2 die for? Even if none go with us or see wat we r trying 2 accomplish, will we still fight on by ourselves? Many of us these days r too easily affected by wat ppl say & do tat they give up too easily. I too amguilty @ tat too sometimes. When I wanna achieve something, but ppl don't seem 2 catch e vision, I get frustrated easily. Hmmm... Something I have 2 work on 2 improve my character.

Went 2 Orchard & Bugis today 2 do some street marketing 4 e up & coming Drumfest. Realised it is so difficult 2 coordinate 30 ppl. God plz give me a bigger capacity. Was really disappointed too coz there was supposed 2 b much more, but they backed out last min; some had genuine reasons, some were childish excuses. Was affected by 1 person in particular, coz i expected her 2 be more matured than tat. How disappointing. But alas, who am I 2 judge or say such things, it was even wrong 4 me 2 have soo much discontent over such a petty thing i almost jeapardized e whole exercise. Have much 2 learn 2 control my emotions & I believe e more I work w ppl, e better God will make me 2 be. Sure I'll make a lot of mistakes along e way, it's part of improving one's self, if u can't take it, too bad for you. :p Had a tough time briefing Jennifer on wat we achieved today, but learned a few valuable lessons: be flexable, be sharp, know wat's going on @ all times. Wish my examz were over, then I can help out more in planning, but lo they r only less than a month away. *shivers*

Well everybody has his time. In God all things r beautiful & will fall in place. Focus on examz now. Chiong drumfest after examz. Can't wait 4 it... =D

Confused? Leave me a note.. =p

2007-03-07T01:25:00.000+08:00

Someone juz asked me how come I've not updated my blog. Answer: If it ain't nothing nice, don't blog it. lol Don't complain for others to read, write positive & u'll live positive. =)

Going through some tough times. Studying n working is not easy. When u focus on 1, th eother suffers. Examz coming in May. Going to stop work soon. But no work= no money, & financial situation @ home is going into danger zone soon. So much 2 weigh. On 1 hand have 2 provide, on the other have 2 excell in my studies. *haiz*

Was feeling rather empty too. Was wondering y i'm notexperiencing e breakthrough I need. Something someone said keeps ringing in my head:" don't always take God's Word n twist it for your own benefit!"
That really stunned me a lot & it haunted me for months, & honestly those were hard words which hurt me a lot. But it got me thinking & seeking the answer to an important question. Wat is a balanced doctrine? On 1 hand God says "I'll give u the desires of ur heart", on the other hand He says "u ask n have not received because u ask amiss". On 1 hand He says "U r a conquerer", on the other He says "this n much more u will have with tribulation". Tried 2 talk 2 someone i thought i could turn 2 for help n council, but alas when i opened up 2 her she could not provide me with wanted i needed to know.

Almost reached an emotional breakdown.
Decided to fast n pray. Cried out 2 God n humbled myself n God heard my cries.

Went for prayer meeting after work. N there i found the presence of God. As we praised n worship i knew a breakthrough was happening, a renewing of my mind was taking place. As pastor Kong shared w us n i heard Sun's songs, i knew God was speaking to me, tat He knows wat I am going through n He is always there. All answers 2 my questions became suddenly so clear.

God gives us His Word n promises. Sometimes tat word is only 4 us, n others will not understand it. Coz tat Word n promise was not meant 4 them. But when the Word n promise comes 2 pass, then they will understand.

God wants 2 give us the desires of our heart, but sometimes the way we ask for it is like tat of a spoilt child- "the give me!" attitude. So instead of getting the blessings of God which He intended 4 us, we get His restraints n disciplines us like a good parent would.

God has indeed made us conquerers. But 2 conquer means 2 fight n take dominion over. Therefore there is no such thing as a easy victory. It's through battles won n lost we learn character n values, we learn wat it means 2 love n treasure.

Most importantly I learned that when things r not going the way I want it, I should run 2 God n not away from Him. Running into HIS arms is better than running into bigger troubles. So although I do not see the promises coming to past yet, I will do my best with wat is given 2 me now n continue 2 trust the promisor.

Jesus Loves the Little Children..

2006-12-31T13:27:00.000+08:00

My cousin came 2 church today. Brought her 2 kids w her, Victor (8yrs) n Vincent (10yrs). They came 4 last week's Christmas Service n loved e play but were a little comprehensive when it was coming 2 attend Children's Church.

Well both of them came today, Victor made 1 friend, n he got a book 4 coming, 1 which he'd lost a few dayz ago! lol Vincent learned speaking in tongues n was 'preaching about it on our way home. We almost had an accident w a bus, & he said:" thank God we learned about tongues today n we prayed in tongues juz now." lol real child like faith! :p They both wanna come back next week, & they wanna buy a bible too! They were quite dissappointed they couldn't get 1 today. :D So next week mission. Buy a bible w them.

My cousin didn't want 2 go 4 service initially. Wanted 2 go metro sale instead. But i think after today's service n hearing her kids,i'll be sseing more of her on sundays. =D She's 35+ n looks no older than 25. *jealous* lol =p

Happy Birthday!!

2006-12-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

Today is my dad's birthday. He turns 63 i think. :p

Christmas Miracle Part III

2006-12-26T00:56:00.000+08:00

Totally couldn't wake up for service today. Had thought that Christmas service was @ 1pm. Thank God Desmond corrected me e nite b4 as we chat on-line. Msged my friends desperately informing them of my error but none replied. That was like 2lmost 2am. :p

Woke up @ 10am & desperately called some ppl but 2 no avail. Thank God Thaddaeus, a distant cousin of mine wanted 2 come & I had 2 rush down 2 his home 2 pick him up.
Reached expo @ 11:15. YiLing also brought a friend n was late, so we decided 2 sit together. As we walked into e hall, Thaddaeus saw an ex-schoolmate. He too arrived late n couldn't find his friends who invited him, so we had another friend. :D

Had 2 sit between e terrace as there was no space left. Could hardly see e screen. Thank God e 4 His presence in e place. Dexter, Thaddaeus' friend responded 2 e alter call. Yiling's friend too responded.

Wanna thank God 4 allowing me 2 bring a total of 10 ppl 2 church this Christmas. It is really a breakthrough in all my years going 2 church, sometimes i don't even have a friend 2 bring. My God is a God of abundance. He makes things possible even when we think it is impossible. He's true 2 His Word, watever He says comes 2 pass. I thank God 4 His love & 4 this special relationship I can have w Him. When I speak H ehears, when He speaks, all He says come 2 pass.

Thaddaeus in black, Dexter in stripe.
Dexter rededicated his life :)

Yiling in black, w her friend from Malaysia

3 month old puppy

cute??

asleep or play dead? lol

My family came over for Christmas. I'm e oldest in my generation (27 yrs) & Paul is the youngest & newest member of the clan (1 month old). LoL such a big age gap. He feels so fragile in my hands..

His sister, so cute... N so clinggy..

Da-Ge n his mischievous smile. So difficult 2 look after all 3 of them @ once. I was flat out by e time they went home, but they r soooo adorable. Hey.. Wat can I say? I love kids. =D

Christmas Miracle Part II

2006-12-25T01:34:00.000+08:00

My younger brother came back from Australia today. Was a total surprise. None of us knew he's be coming. In a way it is a Christmas present 4 e family that we can be together. Thank God for miracles.

Christmas Miracle..

2006-12-24T00:38:00.000+08:00

Cried uncontrollably during service today. It's been sooo long ago since my family went 2 church together. God shows me miracles happens, if u believe, & He continues 2 tell me 2 believe & He Believes in me although a lot of times I lack e faith.

Thank You God for such a lovely gift
For this life You've given, For the life You gave
Thank You for this day that You have made
Where the impossibles may happen
Where faith is made & battles won

My cousin came too with her family, making it a total of 5 adults & 2 kids. She wants me 2 bring her kids 2 children's church in future. Hmmm.. Need more help there.

Breaking Through

2006-11-06T01:59:00.000+08:00

Really wanna thank God 4 His goodness. He's been showing me a lot of things lately & dealing w my weaknesses.

Yesterday after dumping our pledges into e offering bucket, me & Fabian juz looked @ it each other, saying,"wat have I done?!" We both pledged an amount whereby if God doesn't come through 4 us, we'll starve 4 this period. But as I closed my eyes & worshipped, I saw God's goodness 2 me, how he had & how he would provide 4 my meals in school & @ e office. He even showed me a possiblilty of giving more in January! Talk about WOW! I needa have faith 4 now till dec, & even more faith come Jan! But i believe, if God shows e way, He'd also make sure there's more than enough 2 make e journey.

Was really disappointed w myself. Was entrusted 2 do certain tasks 4 Dr Boon when they went oversees, but I misplaced e trust he had in me & made 2 very silly mistakes which shouldn't have been. Needa learn 2 be more alert 2 details. Haiz.. "Learn & move on, grow & become better."

Finally had a breakthrough in bringing frens, & they've been coming a month now! HURRAH!!!

Was actually quite upset over a lot of things in CG. Mainly bcoz there were certain things which were never explained. I as I digged deeper into an issue w Jo, I realised 1 thing. Since young I get frustrated when i wanna learn something, but it cannot be taught thoughly, for example, algebra, nobody could explain 2 me how numbers & letters could be used together in Maths, 2 me it made no sense, & 4 a long time I struggled n hated subjects which could not be explained from beginning 2 end. Anywayz really appreciate Jo 4 taking e time 2 explain things n talk instead of telling me & insisting that things should be done this way & tat, these things & tat things can & cannot be said. Bcoz of e openness in communication i was able 2 avoid a major shutdown. HaHa.. So yah.. I learned something today about my present n past.

In summary, 2 confirm wat I felt God had been speaking 2 me, He's bringing me places, & taking out e trash in my life @ e same time.

I love God & I love His House,
Nothing's gonna change that,
No one can ever change that,
Coz His love is too real to me,
His promises & comfort never ceases.

He's always there by my side,
Though sometimes I fail Him,
He never ever fails me.

I love U my God 4 all U r to me,
I love U 4 U r my God.

Anybody w Windows XP Plzzzz Msg Me...

2006-11-02T15:42:00.000+08:00

Com been down for 2 weeks now. Feel so isolated. Using e com in school now.

A lot has happened sinced i last blogged, but no comm 2 blog, forgot most of it now. HaHa.. 1 thing i remember though was e svc we had last week when pastor Kong announced a change of policy. I realise watever u pray about, God will answer, e question lies if we really listen 2 Him. During svc, felt God telling me "see.." & all i can do is stand in silence.

Prayer meeting was good. As we kneeled n entered into God's presence, I felt e tears roll down my cheeks uncontrollably. Many times we pray & worship, but we were not able 2 really enter into His presence, many times i felt so frustrated as e ppl struggle 2 enter in unsuccessfully, juz as we reach a peak, e atmospheresettles too quickly. But e prayer meeting on sunday was awesome as Pastor Kong led us in & lingered there. Finally felt e peace of God in a way I use 2 know but haven't felt in so long.

During this Building Fund period, there'd be many who will rise up. As many who rise up, there'd be a number who will fall. But as ppl go, God will do a sifting in His house & more will come in & e ppl will be strengthened not onli in number, but in e spirit. U might not be doing well now, but hang in, don't give up, continue 2 trust in God & learn, & God will promote u. Many times I get discouraged by myself, by ppl around me & circumstances, but God always encourages me by His word & young ppl around me. Don't give up, coz God never gives up on u.

Madness Part 2!!!

2006-10-20T02:50:00.000+08:00

Went 2 school today. Too tired, missed 1 lesson. Had a gym session w Lydia, but she wasn't feeling well. Decided 2 head back 2 e office 2 help out as much as I can. Stayed till 9:30pm & we still have lots 2 do. Headed 2 e gym 4 an hr workout after tat.

Feel so alone. I know God is near & He always is there 4 me. God U know how I feel inside. I wanna share my joys & woes w her. Yet she is so far off. now is not e time n season 4 her. God i Trust U. In ur times & season all things will work out.

So tired.. Gonna Zzz..

Madness!!!

2006-10-19T00:24:00.000+08:00

Today was sheer madness. Worked a record 12hrs today. Rushing reports which had impossible deadlines. Was working on 2 coms e whole day & only managed 2 complete 1/4 of e work. Didn't have time even 2 go out 4 lunch & dinner.Thank God our boss made breakfast 4 us today, & we brought lots of food. Staring into 2 screens 4 12hrs & now I'm still staring @ 1 @ home.lol.. When we left e office @ 10pm, our supervisor was still rushing his repory. Think he'll be staying in e office tonight.

Happy Birthday YongQiang

2006-10-17T01:24:00.000+08:00

Fulfilling day today. Understood wat was going on in class as e different groups presented thier answers. Thank God 4 Jianda & Christina I've become more hardworking. Hopefully Christina will decide 2 stay in church, muz pray 4 her bf too.

Apparently we r all linked somehow. I know her bf, we use 2 play basketball together. Christina use 2 be from TPJC, Jennifer Lam's student. lol So e 3 of us had a lot 2 talk about. Jianda is XiuZhen's sister & i use 2 be close 2 XiuZhen & she use 2 share w me how she wished her bro will come 2 church. Today he is shining 4 God as well. E of us stay in e east! Jianda in Pasir Ris, Christina in Bedok & me in Tampines. There's 1 more guy I juz got 2 know who joins our group, DaHao. He stays in Tampines too. He's a little quiet, but we get along well. HaHa.. We plan 2 watch movie after lesson next week, go 2 Christina's house 2 use e gym 1 day, & get down 2 serious studying. =D Thank U God 4 ur hand in all this. :)

Went 2 e gym after lesson. Focusing on e shoulder n upper chest. Didn't know we had sooo many different muscles in our body. Ran 6km in 30min after tat & finally understood e meaning of as smelly as a pig. :p Think it was bcoz of e 2 mac burgers i had w Desmond e nite b4.

Met up w YongQiang after tat 2 celebrate his birthday. YongQiang, myself, Rallen, Kangwei, YuHong, Bryan, LingLing, Julia, & 1 of his CG member. We really enjoyed ourselves. Look @ e cake we got 4 him!!

KL Pics!

2006-10-05T22:53:00.000+08:00

Finally @ long last!! Found some time 2 upload all my KL pics. HaHa.. So much 2 say about e trip, but a pic paints a thousand words, & here's a dozen of them.. =D
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Heidi sleeping like an angel haha..

Samuel w his Pink pillow on e bus. =p

OMG!! they have a shopping centre connected 2 e hotel n an ice skating ring right in e middle of e shopping centre!!! :O

WOW!! A&W is still alive!!!
Our 1st meal in KL. We had A&W 4 2 days straight. lol
Bro Boon was sooo scard of it, we were enjoying our hotdog & rootbeer floats. =D

The view from e conference hall overlooks e theme park!! We only had 2 attend e night sessions, so we spent 1 day shopping, & 1 day @ e theme park! We took all e rides twice! LoL

Ian & I on our 1st water ride. & we didn't bring extra clothes!!

Our next ride, Ian decided 2 take cover behind. AhAhAh..

E look on our faces when e ride was over. But we still went 4 another round. :p

E conference hall. It's about e 3/4 e size of Jurong West.

Exchange program between Singapore SF & KL SF. Drummers hard @ work. Preparing 2 play Prophesy together.
Tat's me in e red shirt!! Thanks Esmond. =D

Glory 2 Glory!

2006-10-02T01:15:00.000+08:00

my hair after the professional hairstylist were done w it

my hair after playing e UDM. haha..

aiyoh.. y look so fierce??

Y so sad.. Look like a little girl. haha..

The players

act cool..

Hallelujah!!! It is done!

Wat am I talking about, I'm talking about our performance on TV on ch8 "It's Showtime". It's a contest 2 promote creativity among Singaporeans & we were the guest performers, meaning, we were like an example in creativity tat works. HaHa.. Wat do I mean? It's like why do we have guest speakers? Bcoz they r specialized in tat field n have something 2 learn from them. During great events, they invite guest singers or dancers 2 capture e essence of e event. HaHa..

Really enjoyed myself. We had 1 week 2 remember n perfect e sequence. All of which, we've played b4 but as always, I took some time 2 memorise it. Muz get 2 a level where e sequence n groove will juz seep into my being w ease. But until tat time comes, I'll practise practise n practise. :) Was supposed 2 play a supporting role for this performance, but through grace n misfortune, David injured his finger, so I got e chance 2 play destiny part on e UDM. =D Haha.. Getting better @ it. Although i tend 2 speed up a little, I can see e water really getting higher now. :) Hit e UDM so hard, 1 of my sticks flew off, almost 2m up it went. HaHa.. Thank God tat it happened on e last stroke of my UDM part. :p Many of e ppl enjoyed our performance. Even e performers, who were mostly secondary school students really enjoyed wat we had 2 show, many of them tried 2 mimic our moves n beats. During e final rehearsal, many of them came in 2 watch us n even cheered 4 us. Haha.. Get much satisfaction when I know tat e ppl enjoy it. :)

I thank God 4 such an opportunity 2 serve Him in such a great way. Never had I expected tat months ago during worship in service, when God spoke 2 me telling me He's going 2 use me in a way which is totally not my style, he'd rise me n bring me so far in performing 4 Him. It's like He's taken me out of my quiet shell n building my confidence n boldness 2 be different. It's like e verse tat says "If none will follow, I will still follow". God sometimes leads us on paths we never imagined of going through, 2 show us His goodness n grace, sometimes it may be difficult n ppl may not see e vision we r running, if it is a God given vision, countinue 2 run w it n God will bring u 2 places u'd never imagine. :)

Though Times Don't Last, Tough Men Do..

2006-09-22T00:44:00.000+08:00

Wise sayings by Dr Edwin Lewis Cole. Father of Manhood, now with e Lord.

Woah.. School's sooo tiring. But I'm gonna be focused n determined this year. After 1 week of lecture, I wonder how I ever failed my examz. Then it hit me, I didn't really pay attention @ tat time. HaHa.. Gonna be specific & goal oriented this yr. Too many things pilling up & if I fail 2 be discipline, I'm gonna fail @ them again & more things will pile up as we move forward with time.

CG today was a little long, but great. Didn't play, but it was alright coz i got a chance 2 worship & got touched by God. Didn't realise God was so near in CG, but then He said, hey, u don't cry doesn't mean I'm not around. ;) Tat was when I remembered loving some1 is a decision, emotions r products of decisions we make. If love was based on emotions 1st, then e relationship will b an unstable 1, coz we all have ups & downs in life. HaHa..

Was really angry w myself e other day. Y? Coz I felt so misunderstood. But then as I prayed & lifted it 2 God, He showed me tat I was @ fault too, not 100%, but still @ fault. Women r such strange beings. Can't understand them, yet can't do w/o them. HaHa.. But I find God exposing more on how they think & feel. Some sisters on, seperate occassions, have been sharing how they get sooo turned off by things guys do, some of which I find r so innocent. But then again, men & women react differently & have different needs. HaHa.. As they shared w me, i reflected on my actions & words, & was quite digusted w myself too as I found myself slipping into tat catagory. Thank God He showed me my mistakes, so now I learn & grow 2 be a better man. Maybe after some time when things have cooled down we can settle all our misunderstandings. But 4 now, too many things on my hand & in my mind. But I trust God tat He'll come through. Watever He speaks come 2 pass, it is us who spoils His plans 4 us by rushing Him. HaHa..

Very tired. Gotta go work tomorrow then tuition. Kids examz coming soon. Soooo worried 4 him. Feel so bad, was supposed 2 play ball w Jem. But there's a higher priority now. Thank God 4 such an understanding friend. God never seems 2 fail 2 amaze me. :)

Hurrah!

2006-09-20T00:02:00.000+08:00

The title says 4 itself. Have been baffled e last few weeks when I couldn't access my blog. Juz today I remembered y. Bro Boon had been disturbing me about e name I have "AhGong", which means "uncle" or it can b a pet name, but he mistook it 4 "dummy", which is spelt in e same way but pronounced differently. HaHa.. Anyway.. Yah.. 4got I changed e name.

Regarding e KL mission trip. It was an AWESOME experience. It really opened my eyes & gave me & renewed my spirit. B4 e trip, tension was high & members in e team were @ each others necks, but thank God He came through 4 us, & I learned tat it is when we go through tough times but decide 2 stick together can we have a breakthrough in our relationship. More than tat breakthrough, God brought me 2 a new level in e way i play percussion & e way I worship. Everything comes from e heart, if u set ur mind in doing anything, set ur heart @ it too, coz e mind gives u direction & focus, but e heart brings fulfillment & joy, it gives u e extra energy even when u r tired, & when u do things from e heart, it can be seen by all & it inspires others too.

When I cam e back from e trip, I plunged into a valley again. I have 2 redo 3 modules. Tat means back 2 school 4 me. :( Took on too many modules last yr. Workload @ e office is also increasing. Have 2 do OT most dayz. Thank God my cherry supervisor. I made a major mistake in my checking model, which resulted in him staying up till 3am 2 rectify, but e next day, he was still as cherry as ever encouraging instead of scolding me, & I respect him 4 tat. Hmmm.. A trait which I wanna learn. :D So now I've got lessons on Monday & Thursday, & work d rest of e dayz. Muz be able 2 handle both. Needa help out w e finances @ home too. Haiz.. Thank God I've only got 2 more weeks of tuition left b4 my kids exam. Can barely cope w rushing there after work. Wanna hit e gym twice a week too 2 build myself up. Muz be healthy, Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally & Physically, & I muz be focus! :)

Was really disappointed @ myself 4 handling a situation quite badly. When I thought things were getting better, it turned out 2 be a unhealed wound. Wat 2 do, since i can't apply medicine, have 2 let e wound heal by itself, & trust God 2 heal. He's my Jehovah Rapha. :')

So much 2 do, so little time. I muz draw from my God everyday, tat means entering His presence.

With man it may seem impossible, but w God ALL THINGS R POSSIBLE.
After a mountaintop comes a valley, but after e vally comes another mounatin top experience. :)
Great men r not men who never fail, they r men who never quit!
A man plans his ways, but God is e one who directs his path.
God makes ALL things beautiful in HIS time.
A strong man is 1 who knows who he is in Christ, is secured mentally & emotionally, & knows where he is heading.

:D

2006-08-23T23:56:00.000+08:00

Went for my run after work. Maanaged 2 run 3km consistently. Tat confirms my silver, but now i wanna aim 4 gold.

Fatigue setting in.. Feeling sick.. But thank God somebody made my day.. :) Thank God tat angel.. :)

Monday Blues..

2006-08-22T00:10:00.000+08:00

Having e Monday blues. Thank God it got over once I was bz in e office. haha.. I really enjoy e environment, & I love e view of e sea. :) This will be a long week..

Monday-Friday: work
Monday- tuition & prac
Tuesday- contacthead meeting
Wednesday- physical training
Thursday- CG
Friday- tuition

Needa find time 2 prac more. Wanna shine 4 God in KL. Muz not be sloppy. It's all a matter of mind over body. "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me."

Needa get as much rest as I can.

Information->Process->Action->Result

2006-08-20T23:13:00.000+08:00

Wahooo.. The last 3 days have been AWESOME!! Dr Bernard is indeed my favourite teacher. Had been waiting eagerly 4 him 2 come every year, but an emergency alwasys prevented his coming. Really love him. He's an indepth teacher, philosopher, economist & friend of God. haha.. Can't wait 4 him 2 come back again soon. :)

So much he talked about, I don't know where 2 start! How..
- A man muz be specific. Don't juz be generalize, but he muz know where he's going, how he plans 2 get there, & how long he'll take. (specific vision)
- information = power = authority
- info processed in our mind, turns into beliefs, which affects our self esteem, which results in a decisive action, which produces results, which become habits for success or failure. (my favourite)
- so if u keep on failing, change e way u think, & consider e quality of e info u input (^-^)
- ur input determines ur output
- counselling is ineffective unless u r 1st taught on e matter
- couselling only helps when u have applied wat u have learned yet it does not work
- God works in patterns & it is so successful tat e devil is trying 2 imitate.
- in every relationship, it starts in an introduction, becomes an acquaintance, grows into friendship, & may blossom into intimacy
- not everybody gets 2 intimacy

So much more he talked about, so much info & knowledge. haha.. think i stop here as these r e few tat really impacted me. :) Rushed 2 queue 2 get his autograph. He's so engaging, even when I told him he really changed e way I think, he looked @ me in an interesting way & said"Really! I'm glad 2 hear tat." Sounds so normal, but u should have seen e look on his face, it showed genuineness & engagement of e Spirit. Wanted 2 say more, but there's a time & window 4 everything. haha.. Really love & appreciate him. If i can, i'd like 2 visit his church in New York & learn from him.

Rushed 2 cut & dye my hair after tat. Made it juz in time 4 physical training @ Bedok Camp, gonna improve my timing & get a silver award. :) Rushed 2 e hall 4 SF prac after tat. T'was so stressful when Bro Boon made us perform 'Destiny' in front of everybody. Everybody was looking @ us so full of expectancy w their camaras. haha.. muz rise up & not get so easily affected by my surroundings. :)

( ^_^ )

2006-08-18T10:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday when I was juz gonna get off work, I wished in my heart tat I need not go tuition tonight. Needed a rest. When I was on e bus, my tuition kid msg me not 2 come today as he's got oral exam the next day. Tried 2 bargain w him but 2 no avail. lol

Thank U God 4 hearing me,
I did not ask out loud
but U heard my whisper.
U hear every word in my heart
every thought I have U have seen.
Thank U 4 listening,
4 always being there,
4 being ever so real 2 me.

Juz as I commented tat I have never been home early, i reached home @ a record earliest of 7:30pm. *woah~ooo* watched some tv, spent time w my mom, & another testimony of how good God is..

Was too tired 2 get out of e house 4 dinner, so my dad offered 2 buy pork porridge on e way back. I was too tired, couldn't think, 4got 2 tell him anything but pork porridge & don't want egg. haha.. But lo & behold, when he came back, he got exactly wat I needed, beef ball porridge w/o egg & a lot of fried onion topping! Amazing thing is that I've never had that b4. LoL.. Talk about divine intervention. Thank U God. :)

Surrender - CCC

2006-08-17T10:39:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I last blogged. Been reaching home late everyday & by e time I wash up, it's bed time.

Enjoying working life. Today is officially my 10th day. My supervisor takes care of us & treats us once in awhile, we joke & laugh whenever there's nothing 2 do. But 1 bad habit he has is tat he dumps work on us an hr b4 lunch & b4 we knock off from work, so in e mornings we have nothing 2 do, but @ e end of e day, we end up doing OT. lol But I like going off after e sun has set & we can see e lights of Singapore. :)

Have not been getting enough sleep, usually OT till 7pm+. Then tuition twice a week, compulsary physical training w e army twice a week, CG on Thursday. Weekends packed wservice & ministry, which means I have sat mornings & 1 week nite free. lol Earliest I've been home so far is... 10:30pm I think?? lol Muz get used 2 working life, stretching myself & balancing my time & commitments. *phew*

There were a lot of things tat happened since my last entry which I wanted 2 blog down, but juz didn't have e time. But e summary of it is tat whenever I'm sad or angry, or do not know wat 2 do, God always sends an angel (meaning ppl) 2 perk my day, build me up & strengthen & encourage me.

I thank U God for Your love & care.
When I'm weak You are strong,
You're my feet when I can't move on,
You're the light in the dark,
You're the whisper inside my heart.
& I surrender all to You.

My God is so good. There's no changing that.

A relationship once established cannot be broken unless u choose 2 allow it 2 die.

Wanna thank a few ppl who have impacted my these 2 weeks,

Julia- her dedication & laughter is contagious. never once have i heard her complain although she's stretched 2 e max & lacks sleep.
Jennifer Lam- her encouraging & inspiring msgs also perk me up, & her contagious laugh & sincerity touch my heart. Go teacher :)
Jennifer Teh (aka mother)- haha.. thanks 4 listening
Jeremy (aka the bird)- for being my good friend & taking all my nonsense for soooo many years. haha.. thanks for all e lobangs man. ;)
Most of all I wanna thank my Lord Jesus, 4 He was e 1 who sent all these angels mentioned above, & for His constant encouragement. The walks & talks we've had brings me closer in love w Him & builds me up 2 be a better man.

ZZzzz..

2006-08-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

Felt so sleepy during work today. Muz get used 2 working life. Changes have 2 be made.

Went 4 a run juz now. Feel so refreshed & renewed in mind, body & spirit. Running always makes me feel good. :)

Talked 2 my ZS/CGL on Sunday. T'was a long overdue conversation where I poured out everything 2 her, my desires, my fears, my heart. She was packed full giving BS, but I thank God 4 giving me a "free time" w her. Turned out we had almost an 45min talk. HaHa..

Needa define my boundaries. Have been doing too much w/o having a clear vision & goal. As a result, all tat I put my heart 2 either fell through or tore me apart. Thank u Sis Jo. :)

We r all like trees, there is no limit 2 how much we can grow. But all trees have a boundary 2 grow. If it wants 2 grow BIG & STRONG, it needa have deep roots 2 hold it up, a thick trunk 2 support its branches, much leaves 2 capture sunlight, & It can't be kept in a pot. W/o any of these e tree won't last long. Wind, storm & cloudy dayz will cause e tree 2 fall. We too r like tat, many ppl wanna go up, up, up, but forget e other aspects. We need 2 be grounded, define where we r going & holding steadfast 2 our vision. We need have big capacity (trunk), coz as u go up, responsibility & prob will pull u down. We have 2 spread our branches & have more leaves, expand our mind, knowledge & network. Most importantly, we cannot set ourselves in a pot (small thinking). Needa define e parameters 2 grow.

So here r my parameters:
1) Wanna work hard & establish myself so I'm financially stable
2) Dedicate a time 2 seek my God
3) exercise 3x a week
4) wait till end of next April like God asked me to
5) build up my ppl
6) learn 2 say 'no'

Help me God as I plan & define my parameters. A man plans his ways, but You direct his path.

:p

2006-08-05T02:44:00.000+08:00

Wat a fulfilling day. 1st day @ Fuji Xerox & I was late. Taxi driver brought me a big round. *Ouch* on my wallet! I thank God e ppl there r friendly, love e view of our country's port. Hopefully can convert 2 be a perm staff there. HaHa.. They offered a good starting pay 4 temp staff. :p Most of e things I do there related 2 accounts checking, which means a lot of excel usage.

Went 4 tuition after work. So sad I couldn't make it 4 FOP. But God gives responsibilites 2 us all 4 a reason, & a promise is a promise. Slept during e 1hr bus ride. Was really flat out. Think I tend 2 lean too much coz after a while, no one wanted 2 seat beside me. HaHa.. Even during tuition, Raymond was more guai today. He was irritated tat i came so late, but hey.. No choice. I thank God 4 e impact I am making in Raymond's life, not only helping him in his studies, but being a friend & guidance 2 him as well. But more than tat, God has used him 2 mould & shape me too. We spend much time after tuition juz talking & recently, we've been playing softball @ e 1st floor landing. God really taught me wat it means 2 meet a need 2 day. Many times, ppl want us 2 meet their wants! Like spending time shopping, talking & hanging out, but many times there is no depth & accomplishment @ e end of e day. Hmm.. Maybe my expectations r too high, or maybe I'm juz sick of wasting wat time i have left. I guess I'm guilty of demanding & having my wants fulfilled. But I have a need too, it's juz so intense sometimes it seems 2 become a more of a demand than anything else. God plz deal w me in this area. I needa change.

Went jogging after tat. Wanted 2 run round e outskirt of Tampines, but Tampines was much bigger than I thought, managed 2 cover 1/3 way in 39 min, about slightly more than 5km I think. Needa build myself up more. Love 2 run, allows me 2 get away from everything, think clearly, & God speaks clearest when I'm running. :) Reminds me of my secondary school dayz when I'd run home from Tanah Merah mrt station 2 Kembangan mrt station. HaHa.. Those were e dayz. :)

Higher!!

2006-08-04T00:38:00.000+08:00

I wanna thank my God 4 His goodness & grace.
It's not by might, nor by power tat gets me places,
but 4 His favour & guidance I would be totally lost.

He gave me a job, in 15min eveything was settled.
He gave me a starting pay beyond wat I expected,
He gave me friends 2 help me stand on my feet.

Out of carelessness I uttered words which shouldn't be said,
Out of stupidity I did things I shouldn't have done.

When I should be put 2 shame 4 e blunder I made,
He showed me His love & compassion instead.
Rebuke me He did, teach me He did also.
For me to learn & change & be a better man.

I thank U Jesus 4 wat U have done & wat U r doing,
I thank U Holy Spirit 4 being so real 2 me,
I thank U Father 4 Ur love & compassion,
Without any of U, my life is so meaningless.

Thank U my Lord my God, my Saviour, my Friend.

Annointing Flows Top Down..

2006-08-02T01:32:00.000+08:00

HaHa.. After e contacthead fellowship on sunday, decided 2 meet e easterners 2 play basketball on mon. Thought e response was enthu, but in e end, we had 7 ppl: Shirley, Julia, Kenneth, Kangwei, Micheal, Jason, myself. Had lots of fun. It's good tat we can have fun outside ministry timing too, allows us 2 bond.

Celebrated Joy's birthday b4 playing ball. Actually we brought a cake 2 her void deck & got her down. Oops.. HaHa.. She was preparing 4 her test & 2 presentations e next day, so she was a little dazed when we surprised her. *Go girl! u rox!* Went Commonwealth 2 celebrate Jen's birthday after bball (how can we celebrate 1 but not e other.. haha.. :p ). Instead of surprising her, we got a surprise ourselves! lol When we reached her flat, she was already outside looking down @ us. lol Maybe it's e twin telepathy thing. lol

Went out w Bro Boon & e older SF leaders today. Informal celebration of percussionists Samuel & Adel's birthday. Found out Justinn is expecting her 3rd child! WoW!!! Tat's fast! We went PS Thai Express 4 dinner @ 9pm & @ 11pm we were around Zouk area having supper!!! No wonder many of our tummies r coming out! lol I'd better learn 2 discipline & control :p

I Find Release In Him!!

2006-07-31T02:14:00.000+08:00

Went 2 fellowship w StrikeForce contactheads today, well @ least those who could make it. We joked, laughed & teased 1 another as if e whole of "Lau Pa Sa" belonged 2 us. The past few weeks of training 4 NDP was quite intense, so it was a good break 4 all of us. Bro Boon arrived later w Sis Angela & Heidi. She's so cute!!! As usual, we took a lot of pics of her. HaHa..

Bro Boon brought e NDP preview DVD 4 us 2 watch. Thank God Luke brought his lap top. :) It was good!! Could see e enthusiasm & energy of our guys. E camera & commentators focused a lot on us, mentioning StrikeForce a lot of times & making good comments. Praise God we r impacting e marketplace through arts! Thank U God 4 being part of history being made, 4 e ministry & allowing me 2 grow here. :)

Went 2 watch "Pirates of The Carribean II" w Irenus & Julia after tat. Good show.. We were laughing through most of it. Julia & I had "Mo Chi" (flow) today. Went went 2 but titbits & we answered e cashier exactly e same thing, twice, we even stopped & continued our sentence @ e same time. Then during e movie previews, they shoed a penguin animation, & we both said: "So cute!" @ e same time. HaHa.. So funny.. :D

Oh Yah!! Cannot forget e most important thing! Went 4 service today. Praise God I was e 1st 2 reach & was able 2 get space in front. E msg by Pst Mike Connell was good. Talked about deliverance. During ministry, many ppl were delivered, including me! In my mind I was imaging how I'd react, & it prevented me from being touched by God. But it came 2 a point where e HS juz said, "don't care, if not I can't move!" So u can guess e rest. Manifested & cried like a baby. An usher stuffed my face into a plastic bag. HaHa.. But I thank God 4 his deliverance. Was actually stuborn & refused 2 admit I had a need, but I thank God 4 setting tat right. Now I have a duty & responsibility 2 stay free. So help me Holy Spirit. :)

It's Monday.. xlaosher has 2 hand in her FYPs. I pray tat all goes well 4 her. :)

???

2006-07-27T03:42:00.000+08:00

Been reaching home late e past few dayz. Muz be focus. Can't juz go out all e time. Muz be disciplined & be responsible.

SF shifted 2 a bigger warehouse space on Monday. It is twice e size we had b4, but somehow after we put in e drums from NDP, we won't have much space left. Have 2 plan on how 2 store e stuff in an effective & efficient way, so e space is fully utilized & we can find things easily. Somehow love doing warehouse logistics. Maybe I should consider going into this line.. HaHa..
Everybody in SF so bz now preparing 4 NDP. If it's not practise, it's doing something @ e warehouse, but I love doing it. :)

Need 2 be focus. God has been showing me a lot of things I have 2 change. Needa pray more too. Prayed w Esmond & Esther on Sunday after prac. Where 2 or more stand in agreement, there e presence & power of God will be. Needa pray more 4 e ministry, e leaders, e members & our focus as a ministry. Thank God I got Esmond & Esther standing in e gap w me. Love'ya guyz.

Needa be a man of my word, even 2 my own hurt! There is nothing more important than a man's word. Coz that is wat shapes him & how he is valuated by ppl. If I say it, I gotta do it! Juz like God was 2 His word, so will I be. Needa better balance my time too. Can't be overly committed 2 one thing & neglecting e rest, like King Solomon, I wanna put my time & house (meaning life) in order. If I can't lead my own life, how can I lead others.

I'm a happy man. Happy coz I gotta friend who remembers me, no matter how far. I've got this Secondary school friend who migrated when we were 15. We spent 1yr together as classmates & we bonded even stronger than superglue. We would chat occasionally on msn. But wat touched me most is that everytime he comes back 2 Singapore, he would call on me, whioch is once every 2 yrs or so). It's been 12 yrs now & he juz came back yesterday 4 a holiday. Going out w him tomorrow. So excited!!

Why God are You so good to me,
Just when I felt all alone in a crowd
You brought me back a friend.

Though we've been apart for so long,
And the vast ocean divides us,
You gave us a special bond
Not many will ever experience.
Though we hardly see each other,
Though we never hear each others voice,
We will always remember each other
Through time times time.

i Thank You Lord for my friend Danny..

Cleaning In Progress..

2006-07-24T14:26:00.000+08:00

Had a long talk w God. Seemed i paced around my hall like 50+ times. Haha.. But somehow when u r in God's presence, e journey doesn't seem so tough or so long.

Sunday service was good. Pastor is in e series of making marriage work. Talk about certain things u have 2 let go 2 make a relationship work. Really changed my mindset as i realise if i wanna really make it work, there r a lot of things I have 2 do 2 prove myself.

Was quite upset today. Many ppl who said they were coming 4 StrikeForce training backed out last min. Talked 2 my ppl, challenged & encouraged them, but somehow it still irks on me how we've gone so far & done so much, yet many ppl have not caught e vision! Maybe I'm juz being too demanding.. But I'm some1 who won't let a person get left behind. I wanna be faithful 2 God over e lives He has put into my hands. Help me God, coz many times I'm lost & do not know wat 2 do. Plz fill me w more of U, 2 e point of overflowing, if not I have nothing 2 offer them. U r e Light, I am Your mirror, I juz wanna shine 4 U my Lord.

Had an arguement in e evening. Am I that stifling & unreasonable? Why izzit whenever I try 2 encourage & lighten up e situation, it seems 2 be taken -vely by e other party? Lord plz help me have a breakthrough in this area. I'm @ e end of e road Lord & do not know wat 2 do. Plz be e center of e relationship so as not 2 have confussion & misunderstandings.

Love suffers long & is kind;
Love does not envy;
Love does not parade itself,
Is not puffed up.

Does not behave rudely,
Does not seek its own,
Is not provoked,
Thinks no evil;
Does not enjoy in iniquity,
But rejoices in the truth;

Bears all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love NEVER fails.

1 Cor 13:4-8

Reservist & Encounters With God!

2006-07-21T23:32:00.000+08:00

YoYoYo.. Finally back home after 5days of reservist. It was a good experience, meeting up w an old friend, instructors & base personnels who remember us. Juz learned tat my Officer-in-Charge (OC) really liked me a lot during my active days in NS. Thank God I'm was shining 4 Him back then & even now, in my camp. :)

Monday
Booked in 4 my 1st In Camp Training (ICT). They briefed us on wat 2 expect, & we had revision on how use e M16 rifle! It's been 2yrs since I last touched it, & was a little rusty when it came 2 e technical handling. But thank God I passed all e test. They wanted use 2 shoot e next day! Was totally unprepared 4 it & was a little nervous. Thank God they allowed us 2 go home 2 get our things. Couldn't find my ear plugs. HaHa..

Tuesday
Reached camp @ 7am! So early. Went 2 Pasir Lebar firing range. So close 2 e Jurong West Building. Forgot how loud & powerful e M16 was. It's reminded me of Emerge! when e "fireworks" went off. E recoil also stunned me during "zeroing". But praise God! I scored 87.5% hit! Marksman! KeKeKe.. So fun.. Can't wait till we do this again next year. :p

Wednesday
Had our IPPT. Praise God I could glorify Him again! Got a silver award although I haven't been exercising! Last time I did chin-up 2 months back, I could only do 3, but somehow I did 7 today! Hallelujah!! Did physical arrangement in e afternnon in preparation for e Change-of-Command Parade on Friday. Apparantly, tat was e main reason they called us back 4 reservist. *peng*

Thursday
Nothing much happened today in camp. Watched a few defense video, did more PA, & was allowed 2 go home early. Oh.. My instructor mentioned he had never ever seen such a tightly knitted group. HaHa..
Went 4 CG @ nite. Was a GREAT meeting. E last week, God had been showing me tat He loved me & showed me e promises He had made 2 me. Some which had come 2 past, & some still work in progress. But in all, He showed me how close He was 2 me & how much He loved me. He also challenged me 2 believe in His promises though some of them may seem impossible now. Had a great time w Him during my quiet time this week as He filled me w His presence. But somehow during CG today, I wanted much much more than wat I had been experiencing e past few dayz. & when I had made tat prayer, Sis Jo changed e direction of e CG & we really entered into God's presence. Many ppl was touched & cried. CG sermon was wat God had been speaking 2 me during e week again. HaHa..

Thank You my Lord
For Your touch & promises,
You are faithful till the very end.
Your Word remains & will never fail,
You alone are worthy to be praised.
Who am I for You will hear my cry?
Who am I that You are there 4 me?
Why do You honour me a mere man?
What have I done to gain Your favour?

As I ponder & pray
About this mystery set before me,
He shows me that it is not what I have done
Or who I am that He does all this,
But it is because of who HE is
& His grace set before me.
& that it is by my success,
His name will be glorified,
& the whole world will praise His name.

Friday
Watched more defense videos. Also watched a clip on bombs & its impact. Interesting.. Did marshalling in the afternoon. The ppl we tended 2 were surpised by our presence & professionalism. Usually reservist don't do such things. HaHa.. Was voted "Best Reservist" by my peer group. HaHa.. Overall my week w them was awesome! & I believe they were impacted as much as I was.. Hope 2 see them again next year. :)

miracles upon miracles!

2006-07-17T00:36:00.000+08:00

We had a guest speaker 4 today's service, Dr Chee Ahn. Spoke about faith & healing. He also spoke about wat I prayed about e nite b4! About e Gentile woman & her faith! HaHa.. Y God do u have such a sense of humor?? I love u SOOOO..

Saw many ppl being healed, including 2 ppl I knew. Guinan dislocated his shoulders during NDP preview yesterday, but after he was prayed 4, he took of e support & starting moving his arms! He even came 4 prac in e evening as if nothing ever happened! David who fractured his leg in a motorbike accident 3 weeks ago came w/o a cast today too! & he's recovering so fast! Praise God that healing IS 4 today!

I thank God 4 His love & mercy. E last few days, He'd been building me up 4 today's sermon. He's been speaking 2 me using past memories, present promises being fulfilled & other ppl's testimoies. He's shown me how close & real He is 2 me & how my faith have brought certain things 2 past. He's also showed me that there r other areas I which He has spoken 2 me about in which I need 2 have more faith in. It is difficult, but I WILL do my best & trust in God, coz He is e 1 who had us in mind & saw us even b4 He formed e world. His thoughts 4 us r of good & His ways r higher than our ways. Coz when we succeed, we look good, & when we look good, He also looks good, coz we reflect Him, & ppl r drawn into His presence.

I thank God 4 not giving up on me though many times I give up on myself. He always picks me up when I cry out 2 Him, & He makes me stronger & wiser.

Going 4 reservist tomorrow morning. Muz pray 4 Isreal & God's ppl. So much happening there now.

NDP Preview - National Education

2006-07-16T00:16:00.000+08:00

Today we had NDP preview 4 all those in Primary 5. They r so full of life & energy, it was my great pleasure 2 perform in front of them. Was assigned 2 e top of e Big Drum today. It's like e spot light of e performance w powerful beams of light focusing on us! HaHa.. The experience was a 1st 4 me, so I was definately excited. Could see everything from up there, & the pyro was awesome!

A few unfortunate events occured today. Many key ppl were still in Taiwan 4 Emerge! So many of us less experienced ppl were left 2 hold e fort! Alas, Julia was sick & had 2 leave for home. She was in charge of today's attendence. Choon Whee was also down w flu, so he supported us backstage. Guinan fell & dislocated his shoulder & had 2 be sent 2 hospital. God has placed us here 2 make an impact in our community, but every time e devil throws things 2 pull us down. So we gotta be strong & lean on God's strength. He's e 1 who leads us here 4 a purpose, & He's e 1 who will see us through!

Went 2 pick Bro Boon from e airport in e morning. I was late again. :p He was standing out @ e loading area by e time I arrived. Slightly injured him too as e van jerked forward as he loaded his things. *Oops* Met Jennifer Lam after that. She teaches @ TPJC & was having a meet e parents session. We headed down 2 eat soya bean @ Geylang w Kangwei & Bryan. She's such a pleasent person, always smiling & laughing. Reminds me of some1 *cough*cough* :p

My muscles r acheing from today's activities, better get some rest & be prepared 4 tomorrow..

Things 2 Ponder..

2006-07-15T03:01:00.000+08:00

Have u ever stayed up late 2 watch a movie or chat on msn. Although u r very tired & eyes about 2 close, u'll force urself awake juz 2 see e outcome of e show. Or juz bcoz u r enjoying e conversation, ur eyes r juz glued 2 ur computer screen in expectation of wat e other party had 2 say.

Since my exams ended mid June , I've been indulging myself in wat I've always wanted 2 do. Serving in ministry overtime most nites & playing video games into e wee hours of e morning while chatting on-line. Somehow when u r doing wat u love, u juz can't seem 2 leave it. even w ppl it's like that, when u enjoy e person's presence, u'll juz wanna spend all ur time w e person. More than juz indulging, it has become an addiction which I juz realized today. When u do not know when 2 stop & take a breather, wat u enjoy can become a horrible nightmare as it begins 2 take over ur life. Serving becomes a means of false security & control, gaming becomes ur world than a form of relaxation, e person u enjoy company turns into lust! Wow.. Sounds serious isn't it. It actually is!! & many times we r so into it w such passion tat we do not realise a good has become a bad!

It is juz amazing how we can bury ourselves in so much, force ourselves awake @ nite & when @ e end of it all, we say we r too tired 2 talk 2 Jesus. Didn't wanna pray juz now, but e HS drew me into His presence. It's been like that e past few nites. Most of e time I'd say, "sorry Jesus, I'm too tired mentally, physically & emotionally, can i do it tomorrow?" But as we know tomorrow never comes. I thank God 4 His mercies, 4 calling 2 me inspite of my laziness, & I realize as I spend time w Him, e tiredness will go away. Pressing into His presence takes time & effort, but it's all worth while when u get a touch from Him.

If only we can be addicted 2 Jesus & His presence all the time instead of all that I've mentioned above! But God doesn't want that as well. If not we become 2 flaky & irrelevent 2 e world we live in today. But God does want us 2 spend time w Him, He enjoys our presence & conversation as much as we enjoy His, He wants 2 be e centre balancing force of our lives! It 's like a game I used 2 play as a kid called "topple". The idea of e game is 2 unbalance a circular scale in such a manner that when e next player has his turn, he topples e whole balance! We r that balance, & God is e centre of that balance. Many times we spend too much time in 1 area & topple e whole thing. God wants us 2 trust in Him & lead a balanced life. Sometimes we make family, e person we love, ministry, our activities our god w/o realizing it! It's hard sometimes 2 let go, but it has 2 be done, if not we'll juz topple our own lives & make a mess of it.

So into ur hands I trust Lord Jesus. All I am & have, I surrender 2 U. U r e centre of my life & I'll trust in U 2 live a balanced life. 2 do my best in everything, yet know when 2 let go. U will be e increase & U will be glorified in e process.

Into Your Hands, I Commit Again
With All I Am, For You Lord
You Hold My World, In The Palm Of Your Hand
& I Am Yours, Forever

Jesus I Believe, In You
Jesus I Belong, To You
You're The Reason I Believe
The Reason That I Sing, With All I Am

I'll Walk With You, Wherever You Go
Through Tears & Joy, I'll Trust In You
& I Will Live, In All Of Your Ways
& Your Promises, Forever

I Will Worship, I Will Worship You
I Will Worship, I Will Worship You

God Shows Me His Goodness Today..

2006-07-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

Woke up real early today. Like 9am. Early coz i slept like 3-4am. But somehow I feel refreshed. Had a great time w my Lord last nite. Really poured out my heart 2 Him & e amazing thing is, He always gives a loving response, showing me He's always there & He cares.

Went 2 play golf w my dad. Not really into e game right now, it's like not e right season. But I guess God had other plans. Bonded w my dad, we got closer, or should i say i understand my dad better & wat he's going through. Had a good game. Scored so good it's as if i had not stopped 4 months. haha.. Lost my hp on e course, but thank God I found it hidden in e thick grass like a needle in a haystack.

Made a few calls 2 Bro Boon in Taiwan regarding his van which we sent 4 servicing. E service charge was $766! & they wanted 2 change e rear view wiper 4 $19 & e engine center mounting which cost $161!!! So includidng GST, e total cost would amount 2 more than $1,000!! My goodness!! But PRAISE GOD!!! After a few overseas call & speaking 2 e person-in-charge they found that e parts were still under warrenty! So Bro Boon can save on e $161. HALLELUJAH!!

Cleared up a BIG misunderstanding juz now. I really hate miscommunication, & even worse, e lack of communication. It always leaves a wrong impression & gives way 2 misunderstanding & feelings getting hurt. We had a short talk on msn & things r cleared now. Thank U Holy Spirit 4 intervening on my behalf. It will take time & energy 4 trust 2 be reinstated. I will put in e effort.

All in all, God answered all my sorrows in a day. All that I give 2 Him, He has shown faithful 2 turn it around, & I will praise Him 4 that. Not all things r perfect, but He has shown me His favor & shown me that thing do work out when we truet in Him IN HIS TIMING. Bcoz of this I will love Him & trust Him even more.

I love U Abba Father
I love U Holy Spirit
I love U Jesus my Saviour

A man without a vision perish,
A man with a vision can do great things,
A man running with a vision from God
can do even more & has no limits 2 how far he can go.

Discipleship In Progress..

2006-07-13T01:02:00.000+08:00

What an exciting day. Woke up late. Overslept.. Oops.. Got e equipment down late, but praise God they got everything through. Sent Bro Boon off @ e airport & thank God I was early this time. Spent some time w Heidi & saw how in love Bro Boon & Sis Angela were. HaHa..

Poor Jennifer, she missed her flight bcoz her passport was void. She spent more than $50 in cab fair rushing 2 get e paperwork down, hoping 2 make e flight, but 2 no avail. Alas she had 2 spend e nite w Sis Angela. Hopefully she can get all e paperwork done by tomorrow morning & catch e afternoon flight. She's already on a tight budget & all this has 2 happen. But everything that happens happen 4 a reason! :)

Went down 2 Bro Boon's place. Fellowship w Sis Angela & Jennifer. We spent most of our time playing w Heidi actually. She's so cute! Getting cuter & prettier as e days go by. :) But once she's fallen asleep, fellowship turned into discipleship.

I'm so blessed 2 have a great leader & his wife discipling me. Many ppl think that we come 4 StrikeForce prac juz 2 have a good time. But it is more than that. If u press in, & r humble 2 avail urself 2 serve, e amount of discipleship & intermacy is expounding! I thank God 4 Bro Boon who disciples me in e way I play & do things, he sharpens 2 pushes me2 be better. I thank God for Sis Angela who is able 2 get into e matter of e heart & bring it out. In a way, Bro Boon build up my character & spirit & Sis Angela build me up emotionally & spiritually.

As I said above, all things that happens happen 4 a reason. Jennifer & I learned a great deal from Sis Angela today. :D & e way of discipleship is sooo different, yes they r our leaders, but they @ times they speak 2 us on a friendship & more intermate level. I thank U God 4 answering my prayers & giving me leaders whom I can relate 2 & who can help me. People I can open up 2 & not be afraid. :) Did a lot of things I shouldn't have done, & in e process, lost the thing I hold the dearest. Father, I'm believing U 4 other things as well. As I trust in U, U will fill my spiritual tank up as well as my emotional tank. When U r in e centre of things, all things work 4 e good of those who love U & obey ur commandments. All in Ur perfect time.

All I Need Is You Lord
Is You Lord
All I Need Is You

All I Need Is You Lord
Is You Lord
All I Need Is You

You Hold, The Universe
You Hold, Everyone On Earth
You Hold, The Universe
You Hold, You Hold
All I Need Is You...

You Are My World, You Are My God
& I Lay Down My Life For You
You Are My Lord, The One I Love
No One Could Ever Take Your Place

Lonely! :(

2006-07-12T01:28:00.000+08:00

Ever felt that u've got ppl & friends around u, yet u feel lonely? It's like u r laughing & look like u r enjoying urself, but deep down an emotional battle is being waged.

Nobody likes 2 be ignored, especially when it's some1 u care about. Relationship is being built up when u spend time w e person & communicate. But somehow all things seem 2 be going in e opposite direction. Every word said & every action taken seems 2 have a -ve effect. It feels like I'm taking a plunge down a bottomless pit. Am I that repulsive? Many times e devils put thoughts of failure & giving up into my mind, many times I resist, but there comes 2 a point where even e strongest will be shaken.

Been so affected by it that it has affected many other area of my life. Emotional battery down 2 zero. Spiritual life being drained away too. GOD WHERE R U!!! Cried 2 God a few times, even when I'm driving. Somehow He always tells me even when I'm rebellious where I've gone wrong & where I have 2 change. Y can't she be like that too, rather than expect me 2 gues & she gets pissed after that. Haiz.. Real emotional roller coaster.

But God U said in UR Word: "A bruised reed, He will not break, a smoking flax He will not quench, till He sends justice to victory. And in His name Gentiles will trust." Mtt12:20-21. Many times we remember e 1st part, & leave out e 2nd part. God wants us 2 suceed! So we will trust Him even more. Many times we go through e mountain top experience & we praise God, but there r times we have 2 go through e valleys, & that's when our faith will be put 2 e test & we be made strong. Many times ppl look @ valley experiences as e devil's attack when it is actually God bringing us through this journey to reach e promise land. & in e same process, He mould us & shape us. Thank u Holy Spirit for this fresh revelation.

GOD ABOVE IN U I TRUST
OVER THE MOUNTAINS & THROUGH THE VALLEYS
THROUGH BRIGHT SUNNY DAYS & STORMY NIGHTS
WHEN THE SEAS ARE CALM & WHEN THE WATERS ARE RAGING
WHEN I AM IN DESPAIR & DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO
I TURNED & LOOK & FOUND U THERE

IN GOOD TIMES & BAD YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE
WHEN I WAS HAPPY, WHEN I WAS SAD
YOU WERE THERE FOR ME & YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

WHO IS THERE LIKE YOU IN HEAVEN OR ON EARTH
WHO KNOWS US INSIDE OUT & CAN RELATE TO HOW WE FEEL
WHO WENT TO THE CROSS TO SHOW US HOW HE CARES

SO IN GOD ALONE I TRUST
IN GOOD TIMES & IN BAD, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE
COZ HE KNOWS WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH
& HE PROMISED TO SEE US THROUGH

GOD I LOVE U GOD I TRUST YOU
INTO YOUR HANDS I GIVE ALL TO YOU

-Darryl

Bleah

2006-07-07T00:30:00.000+08:00

Been having fever since Sunday, maybe due 2 e sun or overstretching myself. Feeling lousy. Eat, sleep, play a bit of computer games. Lame!

Went 4 tech run on Tue night @ Hyatt, & actual performance on Wed morning. DarShan was having fever too. Went straight home after e events on e 2 days. Saw a few things worth taking pics of on sale @ Hyatt's jewellery shop. All cost more than $10k, some even $40k-$50k! Apparently most of e shops there cater 2 e VERY RICH!

Head still spinning. Gonna get some shut eye...

Germany Wins Through Penalties! Woaho!!

2006-07-01T02:09:00.000+08:00

Yeah!! Wat an exciting match! So much yellow cards & injury. There was even a fight after e game! lol

Dad woke me up @ 7:30am today! So early! I promised 2 go up Malaysia w him 4 a game of golf. A game I enjoy but so forgotten how 2 play. lol Actually set my alarm clock @ 9:30am, so only had 4hrs of sleep again. haha.. Had breakfast in Malaysia. 2 bowls of my favourite, meepok, which cost us RM$20!!! Expensive even by our standard! But it was good. :p Reached e golf course @ 10am & found tat it was closed 4 a competition. lol So we came all e way up juz 2 have breakfast. :p Reached home @ 11:30am?? Both me & my dad went straight 2 sleep. We were actually very tired, dad also didn't sleep much last nite, but we were too stuborn 2 admit it. lol :p

Met Zhu @ her workplace @ 9:15pm. Didn't know she was working till 10pm. E mocha I bought from Auntie Annie's melted away & tasted horrible. :p Had a GREAT TIME, even if it was only 2 send her home. Every minute spent is worthwhile. :) Watched e Germany Argentina match w my dad. Was so exciting I was shouting! lol We msged back & forth throughout 2nd half onward. It's so much cheaper 2 call, but somehow she doesn't like 2 talk on e phone. HaHa.. Personal preferance I guess. :p

Better turn in soon. Sentosa gig tomorrow..

Poof

2006-06-30T00:01:00.000+08:00

Have been having 4hrs of sleep e last few nites. Dad still sick, but he's getting better. @ least he can eat & move about now. Thank U Jesus 4 ur healing.

Dad woke me up @ 8am. Thought I was late meeting Bro Boon. Turned out he was hungry (which is a good sign), so went went 4 breakfast. He had 1 prata. After that he slept like a baby. :) Met Bro Boon @ his place @ 10am. Heidi was still sleeping. She's so cute! :) Can't imagine wat it'll be like when I have my own kids in future. HaHa.. :)

Reached e airport @ 11am. Didn't know Bro Boon & Sis Angela were so intimate. Right when he stepped through e check in couter, she missed him already! HaHa.. 16 more dayz 2 go till he comes back. :p

Reached home @ 1pm, had lunch w dad. Rested till 3pm, then it was bz bz bz all e way. Sent Sis Angela & Heidi 2 Bro Boon's mom's place, which was opposite Zhu's workplace. :) Went 2 collect e equipment then pick her up again. Reached Fulerton @ 5:30pm.

We were e opening item 4 a coperate dinner. Everybody was in their gown & suits & we were there 2 shock them out of their seats! ;p We were pretty nervous as this was e 1st time Bro Boon was not around. Thank God we rose up 2 e occasion & did a splendid job! We did make a few mistakes here & there, & we did speed up a lot, :p but we were lively & exciting. Finally received praise from Jennifer, but felt I didn't really hit my mark after watching e video. Muz work more on expressing myself & interacting w e audience (showmanship). Overall we did pretty well. When ur leader is not around, u have 2 choose: 2 be laid back, or 2 step up 2 e plate & take up e responsiblilty. I believe all of us rose 2 another level.

Went 2 have dinner w e easterners after picking Heidi up & sending her & Sis Angela home. Reached home @ 11pm, & feeling tired. But it was a fulfilling day. I have Jesus 2 thank 4 tat. Coz inspite of having not enough sleep & e situation @ home, He gave me strength & e Holy Spirit 2 guide me. Thank U Lord. =D

The Lord is my shepard; I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul; He leads me in rightousness
ForHis name's sake.

Ps 23:1-3

Bro Boon & Heidi after Sunday service. Isn't she adorable! ^-^

view from Bro Boon's living room

cute!!

act cute!! ^v^

Shack!

2006-06-28T01:57:00.000+08:00

A lot happened today.. Dad fell sick, didn't have much of an appetitte. Had half a bowl of congee & a few pieces of fingerfood 4 e whole day, he slept e whole day too.

After media brief, rushed back home 2 buy e congee 4 my dad. Was soo worried coz he looked so pale when i came back. Thank God after eating I brought him 2 see e doc n now he's looking better & sleeping soundly now. 1st time i never hear him cough @ nite. *phew* :) Thanks 4 ur prayers gir, it really works! ;D

E reason I started blogging was bcoz i was down @ 1 point of time & usually writing gets my spirits up. HaHa.. But lately, i've been getting off focus. Been talking about other things & fosaking e glory due 2 Him. So gonna get back on track! =D He deserves e HIGHEST PRAISE! HALLELUJAH!!! All that i'm doing now, although tiring & draining, is 4 HIS GLORY! & HE will give me e strength & annointing 2 pull through. For 'it's not by might, nor by power, but by HIS SPIRIT!!' HALELUJAHHH!!! So i will do my BEST! & God will come through 4 me. 'He knows my thoughts, but HIS thoughts r HIGHER than my thoughts, & HIS WAYS better than my ways!' He knows e desires of my heart & as i do my best 4 my Lord, He will come through 4 me! HALLELUJAH!!!

Gotta wake up @ 5:30am later. I love u LORD & I trust in U. Good nite my Lord...

Packed Neck High!!

2006-06-27T00:49:00.000+08:00

Had prac juz now, 5:30pm-8pm. It's like 5 /7 days we've been having prac, feel a little drained. May be due 2 lack of sleep as well. Need spend moer time w my dad. Think he's missing my mom a lot. She's been in Australia almost a month now, coming back next monday.

Lots of gigs coming up. On top of that, we've got NDP rehearals. Bro Boon leaving 4 Taiwan on Thursday, so we'll be on our own 4 @ least 2 gigs. Gulp! Was supposed 2 play e octopus GuangGuangko, but was not confident. E feeling I had during prac was as if I aws plunging down a waterfall. But I'll get it by e next gig! I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me! & muz put in lots of hard work. :p

Supposed 2 go back after prac, but Jennifer came juz as we were about 2 leave! So we all ended up going 4 dinner @ like 10pm!! After dinner we did planning. Huge logistics need 2 be done & we'll be packed packed packed! :p

lol bz weeks ahead!!

leaders @ work!

deep in thought

DarShan & LingLing

where am I?? taking e pics.. lol

Yeah England!! Quater Finals!

2006-06-26T01:30:00.000+08:00

Wooaahh!! England beat Ecuador 1-0! So happy 4 them. Beckham scored a free kick juz outside e 16yrd box Beckham style! A curler over e defenders into e lower near post!

Training was long today. 4pm-6pm prac 4 performance, 6pm-8pm NDP, 8pm-10pm prac again. Tiring? Yes, Very! But also very fulfilling! Can't lift up my arms now bcoz of holding up e rack 4 so long. But it's good endurance training. Builds up e muscles. HaHa.. :D

Showed SF ppl wat we'll be performing. Hopefully they'll be inspired 2 train deligently as well so they can join e performing group too. If not it's very taxing on us. JiaYou ah Zhu!! *oink oink* <('00')>

Bro Boon going Taiwan on 29/06 & will be back on 16/07. Wanted 2 join them too. But then, if i go, no one 2 do logistics. Furthermore it's when ur leader leaves, a person has e opportunity 2 rise up! So I'll stay & be diligent 2 help Jennifer keep e house in order. HaHa.. :)

Sat & Sun training was tough! Mon, Tues, Wed training. Mon showing e event ppl. Thursday perform. Fri 1 rest day. Sat, Sun ndp prac. Next week more prac. While Bro Boon is away, we might have 2 or 3 performance w/o him. So we muz really rise up 2 e occasion! Ppl in SF, plz RISE UP! 4 e King, 4 His GLORY!!

Life's Full of Surprises! ;)

2006-06-23T00:20:00.000+08:00

Went for CG juz now. Sherin, Vincent & Gary have been transfered over. Was relaxing when I heard Sherin comment, "oh no! my guitarist will be late!"

When I heard that, I instinctively sat down beside her & listened 2 her practise by herself. At that moment I heard e Holy Spirit saying, "U'll play 4 this CG." Laughed quietly in my heart in a wishful thinking kind of way. Thought it was impossible coz I was here 4 make up CG, I didn't practise & I deemed it as 1 of those fantasy thoughts running through my mind. But lo & behold, when Jo arrived & we sat down 4 CG 2 begin, Sherin passed me e guitar, "Jo wants u 2 play!" *dang* de-javu! This taught me a valueable lesson: Never doubt e still small voice.. HaHa :D

Had NDP prac last nite. Only 10 of us w e other schools. This is 2 show case 2 d media ppl so they can prepare 4 e promoting & coverage on e actual day. T'was a very sad day 4 me. We didn't really give our best. During e 1st run, we were very unsure of wat 2 do. Bro Boon gave us a pep talk after that. During e 2nd run, he was still dissatisfied w our performance, & this time he specifically mentioned that my movement was not sharp. 3rd time we went out. Gave e best I knew how, but somehow my best was not enough. :( Was really mad @ myself. Coz this was e next closest I've seen 2 Bro Boon gonna blow up. E last time I caused him 2 blow up was 4 e same reason when we were preparing 4 our Osaka trip, & I vowed never 2 repeat e same mistake again. From strength 2 strength, from glory 2 glory. I WILL DO MY BEST!!

Now that my examz r over, have 2 plan 4 e future:
1) wanna get e guangguangko part right
2) perfect crosshand & play UDM again
3) complete e bible by e end of e year
4) disciple some1 or some1s
5) 4 that 2 happen, I have 2 discipline myself & accept discipleship
6) get a good job
7) be greater in love w God & have a more intermate relationshp w Him.

perfect 7. HaHa..

Ultimate Drum Machine!

2006-06-21T00:07:00.000+08:00

UDM.. Also known as Ultimate Drum Machine, is the pride & joy of StrikeForce. Whole home designed & made, it shows e creativity & innovation of our very own ppl. An attribute I thought didn't exist in Singaporeans when it comes 2 d arts & entertainment. In a way, I thank God He called me into this ministry, & caused me 2 find my place here.

So far we have 2 versions of e UDM. The bulkier version 1 consists of 2 timbales spouts out a considerable amount of water & is harder 2 play. Version 2 is half its size, consisting of only 1 timbale. Its water dispensing system is not as powerful thus sometimes not having e desired effect.

I had e privilege 2 perform on version 2 during e National Day Parade Sponsors dinner. Didn't go exactly as I had planned. :p Forgot 2 on my UDM, was difficult 2 play due 2 e water getting into my eyes & my lights were njot working! :'( But it's ok.. From strength 2 strength, glory 2 glory. I will continue 2 train hard! ( that's 1 reason Y i was allowed 2 play in e 1st place :p ). Hopefully I can play it too on e actual NDP parade finale. For that 2 happen. I muz JIAYOU & continue 2 train hard!

Finally!

2006-06-18T21:50:00.000+08:00

Praise GOD my exams r over!! Hallelujah!! Really wanna praise GOD, coz HE was w me through most of my exams..

Really thought I could pull through w shear hardwork & determination, but I was proven wrong. 2 days b4 my final paper, i thought i had everything covered, but alas i found i was 7 chapters short! That's like half my course material!! U can imagine e panic i went through. But praise GOD when i looked through e notes a day b4 e paper, i eralized it was very much tied 2 e other subjects i had taken! & when I sat 4 e paper, most of e questions were similar 2 wat I've done b4! Praise GOD!!! HaHa..

Finally my examz r over, now can concentrate on a few things which have been burning in my heart 4 soo long.
1) focus on building up e ministry.

now that I'm freed up, I can help strengthen & build ppl up. Realize a lot of discipleship is needed.

2) build up relationship

was having prob talking during my examz. 1 reason was bcoz of my insecurity, e other is bcoz of my forcefulness. Both don't attract, but repel instead. Learnt it e hard way. :p Thank GOD she's a forgiving person & we can talk now, but like says " women forgive in installments." which i find is sooo true! So i have 2 carry myself well, do my best & grow from glory 2 glroy! ;) slowly & surely wins e race.
needa spend more time w my CG. like wat was preached during CG, we needa fellowship w GOD, we also needa fellowship w HIS ppl. HaHa..

KeKe.. Gonna turn in. so tired.. So much training right after examz, didn't catch enough sleep. Now I'm down w a cold & it sucks, coz it feels draggy doing anything. Had 2 lie down a few times during MTT today. Haiz... Muz we healthy 2 effectively glorify GOD!

New Encounter..

2006-06-09T02:04:00.000+08:00

Mind Over Matter..

2006-06-07T23:51:00.000+08:00

Feeling sooooo sleepy. 2 more papers 2 go. Thank God they're next week, so not so bad, got a bit of a breather. God plz HELP me! Need UR supernatural strength!

So much happen these few days since Emerge! Been wanting 2 blog it down, but been too tired & my blog was giving me prob. Last day of Emerge we packed Hall 8, literally we packde & stripped e whole stage. Took 20 of us, 2 truck trips & 3hrs+ to get e job done. By e time we left expo, it was 1am & we headed down 2 bedok 85 for dinner cum supper. Haha.. We were all shacked out! But had a great sense of achievement. Konked out when i got home. :p

Sat 4 my Corporate Finance paper on Tuesday, left w 2 more to go next monday & wednessday. Got examz but still so much 2 do. Really going through wat Pst Kong said, "studying full time, serving overtime." HaHa..

Slept like 3am+ last night & woke up & 7am. Sent my mom 2 e airport. She'll be in Sydney for 3 weeks this time. My bro's exam period. HaHa.. She's so funny, talked about going 2 Australia only 2 days ago & e next thing I know, ZOOOM! She's gone! HaHa.. Poor me & dad have 2 keep e house in order. :p

Headed down 2 e expo @ 4pm to set up e stage. SO SAD! 160 SF MEMBERS, 50% GUYS, 30% OF THEM HAVING HOLIDAYS, BUT ONLY 3 PPL INCLUDING ME & BRO BOON CAME 2 SET UP E STAGE!!!! WAT NONSENSE!! Was really saddened by this. Everybody wants e fun, but none wanna do e work. Haiz.. Needa intensify discipleship. Thankfully Esmond came down, so I had a chance 2 talk & work w him. Bro KC & Raymond helped us. They're such nice ppl. Not once did they order us around. Instead we worked as a team. We took 1 1/2 hrs 2 set up e stage. My 1st hand experience learning 2 put eveything together. So confusing, so many different bits & pieces. Promised Bro Boon I'll get 2 know everything.

I love setting up e stage, doing backstage work. Although ppl don't see ur effort, u get 2 work in peace & quiet & u get 2 learn new things. Really strained my back today bcoz of e shifting, but I love it. Muz pray 4 my back 2 be healed in Jesus name. If not I won't be able 2 do it anymore. :'(

Got my guyz 2 write me a mail. They took sooooo long. It juz shows 1 thing: more discipleship needed. Haiz..

I find that the UDM was seriously cool as it is seemly different yet preserving its roots. it is a single drum UDM and thus it is very mobile yet still be impactful when u put a whole group together. the design is slim and i have to say that it is least likely to have maintainence problem due to the lasting materials used, the use of only 1 drum as it is less likely to knock into each other when transporting. the color display panels are also better as they are no longer bulbs but instead are small filaments so yeah, on the whole thing my thoughts towards the new UDM is totally Great!

- Esmond

The performance was awesome.! i like it. ;') was quite surprise to see that ;") VERYNICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE yup
but i was thinking if there is somthing that could produce a more powerful sound .. would be even better.! liek the BLUEMEN grp... are they called that? liek we make somthing that can produce those sounds.! more powerful..... as in. the sound would feel more .. liek... i dono how to describe .. but stronger!!! liek maybe we create somthing that looks realie cool to bring out a constant bass sound.
yea n i liek the part when the drums actualli came in....
but ill sae! OUR UDM IS GREATT!!!!!!! ;'))))))! realiie great.! .. i liek the effects of the lights .. maybe they can wear som costumes that can glow in the dark.. den when they move.. it'll be more obvious.. liek maybe don need the whole costume but. stick somthing that glows on their shirt..!
yea i REALIE REALIE REALIIE liek the whole performance..! its awesome ;'))))))))))))))))))! the drums realie take the praise to another level. ! liek wat Rev Ulf said.! i believe our performance is making a difference.! There's realie somthing in the drumming.! i dono how to explain that.! its GREAT.!
yea ;") glory to glory!

-Esther!

the new udms were great! i love the colour display. i think it would be the icon of this year's NDP parade. wahaha!! keep it up!

-Kenneth

i feel that the UDMs are really COOL and it was a good idea to put it at the opening and the finale of emerge cos it really builds up the atmosphere and instils excitement and anticipation in the people before the praise and worship!
the idea of the UDMs are funky too cos i feel that not many people actually see drums being played in this style before. and the drummers did a real excellent job cos they played with much energy and zest!Â Â i feel its really good! so happy for them! :)
yes..it definitely inspires me in being more passionate and creative when i play drums and to be bold to let each own style's flow..

-ChewYan

I feel that the performance was good and inspired to me to perform just like them.The atmosphere was amazing.It's like a welcoming show to emerge...I like the whole thing.There is no mistake and every thing is perfect.It inspired me to perform like them and be more creative.

- Claudia

I love e way how we can come up w new creations every time. It makes us relevent & exciting. Although I wasn't involvde in this performance, I helped out backstage in getting them ready in watever way I can. Even being a MIB getting e UDMs in place, I could feel e vibe & excitement. Seeing e ppl play & e crowd enjoyin it gives me a great sense of satisfaction. I thank God I am serving in this ministry & that He has allowed me 2 do so much. I hope 2 be able 2 see a new batch of players rise up & rake e stage by storm. It is not about a few of us playing & doing e work all e time. It is a group effort involving all 160 of us. When every1 is active & willing, r we able 2 reach our full potential.

-Darryl

Emerged!

2006-06-05T02:49:00.000+08:00

WOOOAAAAHHH!!!! HERE WE COME! HERE WE COME!!!

Wahahaha.. Wat a wonderful Emerge conference we had. Didn't intend 2 go as it was right smack in e middle of 2 of my hardest paper on thursday & tuesday, but somehow GOD always sets me up 4 HIM.

HaHa.. & I love u 4 that Holy Spirit. Coz U always set me up 4 an appointment w U & my LORD even when I am bz. :) Had 2 go down 2 help out w StrikeForces new UDMs. Actually wanted 2 stay only till e end of e performance then go hit my books, but e presence of GOD was so thick that I was compelled 2 stay; & thank GOD too, coz I really enjoyed HIS presence worshipping & praising my lungs out. :p I juz love being in HIS presence.

Funny thing happened today though. Woke up kinda late. Was rushing 4 service, I was in e toilet brushing my teeth & stuff when my imagination started running, u nkow e kind where u make belief u r a warrior or hero kind.. Then I saw a forest & in e forest there were enemies hiding inside. Then i saw foxes being tied by their tails & their tails set on fire & sent into e forest 2 burn out e enemies! Then I aws thinking, "Y use 2 foxes instead of 1?!" Little did I know Pst Kong aws gonna preach about it in juz less than an hours time. lol E Holy Spirit sureee has a sense of humour, & HE set me up 4 an encounter w GOD AGAIN! LOLOLOLOL!!! Love U Holy Spirit! WWOOOOAAHHHH!!!!

Sat w SF during e finale! Felt more freed up w them & really let loose during praise & worship, 1 heart 1 mind. We cleared e stage after e conference. E hall is TOTALLY empty now. Tiring, but I love doing it. Muz take care of my back though.. Can feel it weakening.

Gonna konk out now. Have 2 b @ expo @ 12pm 2 set up stage. Hopefully I'll have e energy 2 study after that. lol

Prayer Request

2006-06-01T02:18:00.000+08:00

Yo ppl.. Whoever's reading, I really need u 2 pray.

Woke up late today, like 12pm, went 2 have lunch w my parenst then came home 2 sleep somemore. Overstreched period. Maybe doing more than I can handle. Needa expand more, but we r not superman, we r human, made by God given a responsibility 2 do our best @ wat HE has given us 2 do! Many times we forget that, & we try 2 'help God' by doing more than required. Many times in cases like that, we get burnt out, fall sick & things dont happen e way we plan. So be focus, know wat & when 2 do.

Didn't study @ all today. Intended 2 study @ expo coffee bean. Sidetracked 2 Hall 8 check e progress of our new UDMs. Stayed all e way till 12am+! Didn't have much of an appetitte. Gave my food 2 Darshan. Everybody's overly stretched, Julia's working, but she comes down & stays late, Kyle took time off from work e past few dayz & have been spending hours straight getting e UDMs ready. Alvin, Neo & myself r in e midst of our examz, yet we have 2 be around.

UDMs not ready yet. After much work, only 5 of 8 r good 2 go. Kyle & Darshan have been working round e clock 2 get it done by tomorrow. A lot of technical difficulties. E UDMs & performance was marvelous! Yet there was something missing.. E playing is not tight & there was not much feel today. Need more annointing.

So wat 2 pray 4 u ask me???
Pray 4 e ppl who sacrificed 2 make things work. Pray 4 strength & annointing, that tiredness will not get e better of us. Pray 4 e performance, & e music team. Pray 4.. 4.. discernment so u noe wat 2 pray 4. Pray 4 me.

Praise God 4 His Grace! :D

2006-05-31T00:14:00.000+08:00

HALLELUJAH!!!!! PRAISE GOD!!!! I knew how 2 do ALL e questions for my exams today! A confirm 65+/75. E best part is that I studied 6 of 11 chapters & out of e 8 questions, 7 came from those 6 chapters!!! Muahahahaaa.. & I could do all of it! Praise God & I'll say again'PRAISE e LORD for HIS GOODNESS!' When u serve HIM & do ur best, HE always rewards. :)

Rested abit then went down 2 Hall 8 2 help set up d stage. Thought it'll last 2hrs e most, but alas! we were there 4-11pm. :p Really enjoy being in God's house, seeing e preparations for Emerge! & being involved in it. Saw our new creation: e Zorro's ( coz it's a single timbale by itself). Saw Sun & Dayan & Pst Kong. He looks sooo skinny up close. Muz pray 4 his health. He really has a BIG heart that's why he always wants 2 do his best & expects us likewise, if not we r only short changing ourselves from reaching our potential, e ppl around us who need 2 be touched & God coz we do not glorify Him! So saying, we fall short of HIS Glory. Therefore my new resoultion will be 'to give my best! & nothing less!'.

There's soooo much 2 do in SF. It's not only about drumming, but serving e mucis ministry as well by setting up e stage. Saw e ppl who sacrificed their time & energy 2 get e 8 Zorros up & running. They did so tiredlessly w/o complaining. Could see they were ppl of focus on a mission! Was inspired by ALL who came down today! SF function well as a team, & today I saw our teamwork in action. Really revitalize & re-energized me.

I wanna go 4 Emerge!! Better cheong my studies e next 2 dayz so I can attend thurs & fri nite. Made a mistake regarding my examz. It's this friday, tuesday, monday & wednesday. HaHa.. Blur liao.

Feeling sooo tired from e dayz events, but I'm HAPPY! It's a real fulfilling day! I LOVE U JESUS! :D

Examz..

2006-05-30T02:03:00.000+08:00

Last leg.. Plz pray 4 me.. Exams tomorrow ( management science method), friday (managerial econs), tuesday (corporate finance), 12th ( management maths), 14th ( financial intermediaton).
Need God's grace, & lots of prayer. Thanks.

Can't go 4 Emerge! Needa be focused :(
Everything in it's time & season. Joseph had 2 wait years in slavery & prison b4 he got 2 where God promised him 2 be. He never once complained, he never once doubted. Juz believe! I BELIEVE!!! :'D

S T R E T C H E D ! ! !

2006-05-29T00:38:00.000+08:00

Tired. Juz got home. Long long day today. Didn't wanna update blog, but it's been a few dayz since I last updated. Muz be responsible 2 my faithful readers. HaHa.. :p

Rolled myself out of bed this morning @ 9:30. Thanks Vincent 4 e morning call, w/o which i would have still been sleeping till noon. HaHa.. CG started @ 10:30, ended 12:30. Rushed Jo back 2 expo & picked Sisca & gang up on e way 2 CG. Kaixin's CG started @ 2 ended 3:30. Was late reaching Kranji camp 4 our combined NDP rehearsal. So paiseh! 30 of us went down, there were like 300 over other ppl there, but e organiser intro us over e PA system @ e stadium. All 300+ eyes looking @ us waving. HaHa.. we r really going places. Ppl everywhere know about us. :p Silly Yiling was down w fever yet she came down. Had 2 send her home aft e prac which ended @ 7pm then rushed down 2 PA 2 meet e 60 over others from SF invovled in NDP. Ended @ 10pm, but somehow reached home @ midnight. I'm poofed. Feeling so stretched this week, & e stretching will juz intensify in time 2 come.

Good word, having an intimate relationship w God. Many times this year, God has been speaking 2 me, but somehow it's never clear until service or CG day when God shows me a clearer pic. It's like on normal dayz, he gives a parable & on sat & sun, He explains it. In a way, He keeps me in suspense & more eager 2 wait upon Him. As a result I'm experiencing & loving Him more in my life. U can go 2 church, attend CG & serve, but still not know or experience God still! & I've talked 2 many ppl like that. Relationship building takes time, energy & effort. Even when u r tired, it is a choice we muz make 2 relate. Shutting up doesn't help anyway. Many times in e bible God doesn't say 2 give up or lose ur dream. Instead, He gives rest, energizes & recomissions again. Praise God 4 that.

Been a very long week for me. In e midst of my examz now & I'm feeling e stretch. Wanted 2 take a break from ministry, but then again, it is not possible. HaHa.. Almost everyday I was awaken by e ringing of my phone. Somehow there r a lot of things that needs 2 be done. There r sooooo many ppl, but only a handful of committed ppl. So sad. But I thank God, although I feel overly stretched, He's been rewarding me 4 my faithfulness. He's increasing my capacity & bringing me 2 places I never thought possible. Indeed God does not reward us based on our talents, but on our faithfullness! Praise God 4 that, coz He uses me, a man of little talent & shows me how important I am 2 Him & His plans.

Many times God plants great potential in us, but many times we say 'no God, it is too hard, I can't do it!' when we hit a little obstacle. Ppl may fail us, even those we think we can depend on, but God never fails us. BUT he also won't spoil us! Like a child learning how 2 swim, God will guide us, he'll support us, but there'll come a time when He'll let go of us! & many times we struggle & feel so afraid, but thank God He will not let us drown. He'll alsways pick us up, comfort us, & encourage us 2 try again till we get it right. That is why some ppl start a cycle & stay in e cycle a LONG LONG time. They never ever learn 2 overcome their little problem. So next time u r faced w a difficult task, or u feel like giving up, remember this. God never ever gave up on us though He knew of our stuborn nature & rebellion. ;)

? ? ? ?

2006-05-26T00:37:00.000+08:00

Praise GOD I managed 2 clear 2 chapters today w much understanding. Told myself I'd not get distracted today, but somehow I kept thinking of her.

She's been sick e past few days still. Msged her a lot of times today, but she didn't once reply. Makes me worry.. Is she ok? Is she eating properly? Did anything happen 2 her today? But all I get in reply is an uneasy silence.. *Haiz* I can only lean on GOD & trust that HE will come through 4 her.

Surrender wat u have 2 GOD,
what u prize & treasure most.
& GOD will do a work,
moulding & shaping,
polishing & refining,
& it will shine more beautiful & radiant than before.
GOD into UR hands I commit & trust.

Went 2 e food fair @ epxo 4 dinner. What a crowd! Wanted 2 take more pics, but ppl r so senstive about it. My dinner: thai pineapple rice, huge otah, my favourite pecking duck! *yummy* the guys preparing my duck. Cost me $12 altogether! Talk about expensive. :p

Quizzies

2006-05-23T11:08:00.000+08:00

Yawn.. Can't believe I woke up @ 10am. It's too early.. Been sleeping late, yet I automatically wake up & can't get back 2 my wonderful dreamland. :(

Couldn't help doing some quiz I found in a friends page.

You Are Sunshine

Soothing and calm
You are often held up by others as the ideal
But too much of you, and they'll get burned
You are best known for: your warmth
Your dominant state: connecting

What Type of Weather Are You?

Your Ideal Pet is a Little Dog

You're both high strung, hyper, and cute.You're one of the few people who can get away with carrying your little dog in a little bag.

What's" Your Ideal Pet?

Your Lucky Underwear is Blue

You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them.You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist.
Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry.If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

@_@

2006-05-23T01:52:00.000+08:00

Had a fruitful 5hr study today @ e expo w Davin. Funny guy. Enjoy talking 2 him, but somehow he always likes 2 pair ppl up. 'As a man thinks in his heart, so is he'. hahaha..

Talked w Zhu.. Although it was only 4 10min, it brought me 2 cloud 9. More motivated 2 study. HaHa.. Plz pray 4 her though.. She didn't go 2 school today. Had gestric & went 2 see e doctor. On medication now & have 2 go 4 a check up @ NUH next month. So worried 4 her coz she always skips her meals. *Haiz*

ZZzz..

2006-05-21T21:12:00.000+08:00

Man am I sleepy.. Thank GOD 4 His supernatural strength. W/o it, I wouldn't have been able 2 make it through e day.

Woke up @ 8am by Jo's msg, "Where r u? I'm almost reaching." *Ding*Ding*Ding* alarm bells started ringing in my head. Set my alarm clock @ 7:30, but juz refused 2 get out of bed. Jo never msg b4, so I juz thank GOD she did. lol

"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong!" This theory was proven during CG:
1stly- bcoz of my schedule, I wasn't able 2 try out e songs 4 CG until today, & we were doing e new song 'Let's Get Loud!'
2ndly- Vincent arrived late. He helped me 2 print e chords (no printer), 8:45 i think. When he reached, he realised that he didn't bring e chords!
3rdly- when we tried 2 log onto e internet 2 get e chords, there was something wrong w e connection. Took about 10min b4 we could log in
4thly- while waiting, I tried e worship w Jo ( some old songs which i love). Somehow no flow.
5thly- when e praise was ready, we couldn't get e right tempo. We were rushing e song.
6thly- when I went out 2 settle down, e CG was praying, couldn't find my stuff, more imporatantly my spectrum, w/o which I couldn't play e guitar.
LoL soooo much misfortune.

During praise felt my arms giving way bcoz e previous day's events. Was a little disheartened. During worship, I couldn't feel GOD presence @ all. Saw that Jo was also distracted.. But GOD is good, he reminded me that worship is a matter of attitude, our surroundings shouldn't affect us. Like when Paul was stoned, ship wrecked & thrown into prison, even though he was doing GOD's work, he didn't blame GOD, instead he worshipped Him. Closed my eyes & worship, & slowly, I felt His presence come. Sometimes we have 2 push away our surroundings & focus in on e 1 we r worshipping, not on e job we r doing. When I opened my eys, could that Jo had cried, but was recovering from it. There's 1 thing which GOD had been speaking 2 me but till now I'm still learning 2 do: Leaders move even when no 1 else is willing 2. :p

Rushed 4 Service after that. Lydia sat w us as she came 4 make up. Had a good talk w her. Muz keep praying 4 her, surface always looks good but when u go deep, u see more. Sermon was FANTASTIC! Talked about Daniel. How Daniel was in e world, excelling in his field, looked & was like e world, but he was 1 of 3 most rightous men in e bible. Through him, e King of Babylon, e most corrupted nation in e world, had 2 acknowledge that e GOD of Daniel is god of all! Talking about making an impact in e marketplace! Even Jesus was so normal, it took a kiss 2 identify him 2 e Romans. So we r in e world, but not products of e world. We belong 2 GOD. Neither legalistic nor wreakless. We r balanced w e Holy Spirit 2 guide us. I pray that some1 will see that. Many times when I tell her things or ask her 2 do something, she seems constrained, like wat we should or should not comment or do. Well like e bible says, show love 2 those weaker in faith. But I still love her 4 her innocence. It's juz that it has yet 2 be tested true. :p

Was supposed 2 go out w her & S & J, but she had another appointment. Was so sad. When I tried 2 talk 2 her also, she seemed 2 draw away, as if she's afraid. Hmmm... GOD in ur time, U will do a work in her life as u have done in mine. I believe in U, take her up a few levels plz! In ur hands I commit.

Finally. So early. Think I can sleep now. HaHa.. Sleep deprevation. Gotta chiong my studies tomorrow.

things I got 4 her birthday. expensive? yes! but when u love some1, u'll give e person e best!
took 2 months 2 do e foldings. tedious, but i also believe in being creative & putting in ur own effort ;)

I'm a Sleepy Lobster

2006-05-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOSH!! I'M FINALLY RED LIKE A LOBSTER! lol had a good blast of sun during NDP training. Think I look better like that. HaHa..

What a tiring day. Had only 4hrs of sleep. Reached expo Max Pavilion @ 7:50. Late! stay e closest, yet I'm e latest. Made a lot of mistakes during prac. Bro Boon had 2 stop us all bcoz I 'haven't wake up yet'. :p Played 4 e Singapore Youth Leaders Conference, where all e student leaders of schools gather. They were very dull @ 1st, maybe bcoz they had 2 be there so aerly in e morning. HaHa.. But we soon woke them up. They were soon cheering & screaming their heads off every time we paused, after our performance, they were wide awake. HaHa.. Listened 2 our playing in Alvin's van after that. Sounded VERY GOOD! We can make an album w that. lol
Had lunch @ expo food court after that. E food stall attendents were horrified when we told them that we were not having service today.lol They overcooked. All of us were 3/4 asleep, but had 2 rush down 4 NDP prac @ 1pm. When we reachde PA, we all juz sprawled on e floor & stayed there 4 10 min. Almost fell asleep. :p

A lot of changes in e NDP sequences, but most of us who perform more have gotten used 2 it. Am worried 4 those who don't come down regularly 4 prac though. "The strength of our group is as strong as our weakest link." Although I'm sad 2 see so few ppl during trainings, I keep telling myself, I gotta have faith in them. But it is so hard when u have a vision & goal, & u try ur very best 2 do ur best, & u turn around 2 see e rest of e ppl so slack. Haizz.. GOD, plz give me understanding & how u lead better.

Taking e snare group now. Hurray!!! Never thought it was possible, coz my level of skill is not quite there yet. But GOD is indeed good. He rewards a man 4 his faithfulness even though it may not be his lot in e 1st place. Juz like e parable of e talents where 1 person got 5, another 3 & e last 1. The servant who got 1 didn't utilize his talent ( or should I say 'slackde'), so it was taken away from him. E 1 w 10 talents however, found another talent dropping into his lap although it was not his lot. Moral of e story.. Work hard, do ur best, & GOD will do e rest.

Brought some of e guys running then 2 e gym. Feeling stronger & fitter now. HaHa.. Feeling good. :)

Time 2 ZZzzz.. 12hr SF really takes a toll. But hey! If u love wat u r doing, have a right attitude, u can overcome anything. ;) CG starts @ 9am tomorrow. :p *pengzz*

Happy 21st Birthday!!!

2006-05-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

So happy today!!! Celebrated her 21st birthday! Thank God all turned out well. She was totally shocked! HaHa.. Speechless 4 words. Will elaborate more tomorrow.

Gotta burn midnite oil. Exam @ 10am. Worried sick. At least I have 1 worry down. As long as she's happy. :) Time 2 FOCUS!

*Yawn*

Hallelujah!

2006-05-17T23:58:00.000+08:00

Had a fruitful day studying. Alvin joined me in e evening. Spent time bonding w each other. lol

My tuition kid's mom called. She was so excited.. Raymond scored 89% for his Maths mid year! Praise God!! I remember when I took him for tuition last year, he had sooo many things he didn't understand. In a way, he reminded me of when I was a boy. Playful, short atention span, gave a hard time 2 my tuition teacherS. lol Wanted 2 make an impact in his life, so I took on e job. I was very disppointed when he failed in his final exams last year & wanted 2 give up as I had put in sooo much effort. His parents didn't allow him 2 come 2 church, & I didn't know where 2 hide my face as I was his charge. :( But thank GOD 4 His mercies! He renewed my vision! Now he's doing exceptionally well in school, he's coming 2 church, & his mom came 4 service 4 e 1st time! HALLELUJAH! GOD indeed rewards those who r faithful! :D

GOD never takes away a vision which He implants in us, like in Mtt 25 when Jesus taught on e parable of e faithful servant, GOD took away e talent of e unfaithful servant! Y coz GOD gave him a vision, a duty, but he did not follow through w it, & Y wasn't he able 2 follow through?? It says in verse 24-25 that he knew e master was a hard when, & therefore he was afraid. Now what could he b afraid? Failure! He was afraid that he would lose that 1 talent instead of multiplying it. So he hide his talent! As a result, GOD called him unfaithful & took away his lot!

What about e 1st servant? What caused him 2 deserve 5 talents & what allowed him 2 earn 5 more?!?! How does GOD measure a person's faithfullness??? I can imagine e life of e 1st servant, some1 hardworking & talented, but it's not only that which gave him e right 2 5 talents & MORE. It was his FAITHFULLNESS!!! What does it mean 2 be faithful? Faithfullness means not giving up even when u fail e first time, faithfullness means keep trying, trying, trying till u get e right formular. Many times ppl give up on their vision bcoz of 1 thing. FAILURE! They r afraid of losing e relationship, losing their money, losing wat ppl think of them. As a result, they fall short of success. When GOD gives a vision, HE never ever once said in e bible: "If it doesn't work out, change e vision." FAR BE FROM IT! Instead GOD gives e person rest, then HE rekindles e vision within him! So if a method doesn't work, CHANGE E METHOD! Like Moses when e ppl rebelled against him, like Joseph when his world seemed 2 be falling apart, like David when he was being chased by his enemies. They were sad, but GOD always rekindled their vision. GREAT MEN of GOD r GREAT MEN OF FOCUS! I'm so sad when I see so many, including myself, lose e fire & vision GOD has put into our hearts. Maybe that's Y I'm so stuborn & harsh regarding some things now: I don't wanna be steered away from my vision again. lol So I'm sorry if I offend some ppl. :p

CHAMPIONS R NOT PPL WHO NEVER FAIL,
THEY R PPL WHO NEVER GIVE UP
U CAN NEVER LOSE WHAT U NEVER HAD,
U CAN NEVER HAVE ANYTHING U R NOT WILLING TO FIGHT FOR
GREAT MEN OF GOD R ALSO GREAT MEN OF FOCUS
A MAN WITHOUT A VISION PERISHES
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE TO HIM WHO IS WILLING TO WORK HARD

Tired!

2006-05-16T23:51:00.000+08:00

Wat a long day. *phew* Set my alarm clock @ 11am, but was woken up by lots of msg @ 10am. Had 5hrs sleep. HaHa..

Met Liz for lunch. She so cheeky. Reminds me of e times we had when we were little & still depending on our parents 2 bring us around. We would tease each other & I'd pull her hair. Made her cry a few times too. HaHa. But now, WoW, young woman already.. Independent & witty.. Can tease me back now. :p Went 2 e food court @ Suntec. As usual, she dumped me w all her greens. *tsktsk* bad girl. I'll tell ur mom next time I see her. :p Had Ben & Jerry's after that. Full chocolate overload. lol juz e way I like it. Yummy :p. So sinful. She was supposed 2 go home after that, but she dared me 2 walk all e way 2 Takashimaya. Poor girl was sweating e way there, but hey! We had a good cardio workout. ;)

Was so sleepy after that I could hardly focus on studying. Dozed off a few times. :p Met Bro Boon @ Fort Canning. ToTo performing there. Got e van from him & rushed down 2 PA. Tried e rapanick patr. Cool! I love e sound of it. Tried e firecracker too. :) Wasn't really satisfied w today's prac. There was something missing apart from e tightness, e X factor that made us unique. Haizz..

Sent e van back 2 Bro Boon @ Fort Canning @ 10:30. Was flat out. Forgot 2 lock e van. Kana again. lol :p Praise God my dad called! Offered 2 pick me up! Talk about giving sacrificially. God always provide. He always intervenes right on time when we need Him, when we do our best w/o complaining. lol Thank U Jesus. :)

3 Dayz N Some More!!

2006-05-14T22:38:00.000+08:00

Hallelujah!! Attended all 3 dayz of Pst Phil's meeeting. Was really pleased by e word. There r 3 pastors, apart from Pst Kong, I really respect & will attend all their meetings if I could.
1) Dr Bernard- teacher of e word
2) Dr Ulf- teacher, visionary, apostle
3) Pst Ulf- prophet, inspirer, example setter

Was really blessed e last 3 dayz. Although had 2 queue n have NDP training, though many a times I was forcing myself 2 keep awake, e msg of God always revives e Spirit as we come hungry 2 connect w God. Really wanna thank God, coz 4 e last 3 dayz, I wantde 2 be as close front as possible, but by e time I got in, almost all e front was booked. But God always provides when a person earnessly seeks & find. Praise God on Friday, I got seats in front of choir. Sat we managed 2 push 4 e choir side agin when there was none left. Sun everbody couldn't wake up, so had 2 hold e seats myself. Was quite disappointed actually, I was ok when everybody was late, since most of them stay quite far, but when they realised e seats were a little scattered, they wanted 2 seat way behind!! My God! I was like, r u hungry 4 e word, or r u playing church. Instead of trying find ways 2 squeeze in front, they chose e convenient way. Somebody once comentde b4: "U can't force ur way!" but when a man has a vision & he knows wat he's doing, he can't help but go 4 excellence & result. Thank God they finally decided 2 squeeze down front. Got seats right in front of e pulpit. Hurrah!!! Mom came 4 service on Friday. Praise e Lord!!

Pst talked about coming 2 a new level of faith & prayer. Prayer releases God's power. Not our ideas or work. U can plan all u want, but if God is not there, u r only wasting ur time. Love e way he relates 2 God. Been talking 2 God in a more intermate way, like I do w a friend. There r times when I'd juz walk around e room, there times when I'd juz stare out e window. There was 1 nite I was worshipping & a word came: "when u worship me, e angels cannot help but worship as well." lol angels r all around us all e time, somehow that day as I worshipped, I imagined leading e angels in worshipping as well, as if I was e worship leader. lol Had a marvolous time. moral of e story: When e Holy Spirit leads, juz flow w Him, no matter how ridiculous it may sound like. lol Try it, u'd be surprised urself. ;)

Really tired. Had training Sat afternoon b4 service, Sun helped pack up e stage b4 going 4 prac. A lot of gigs coming up. Examz around e corner too. Feeling e stress.. Taking slow on e performances, but during training, more is required examz or no examz. :p So have 2 rise up & increase my capacity. Was really impressed by Zhu too. Although she hasn't really been coming 4 prac, she managed 2 get her part quite fast, onli she needs more confidence. I have faith in her. She's really bz too w her work, FYP & NDP training. Next week is her birthday yet she got no time 2 celebrate. Muz pray 4 her if u know who she is.

Muz be more encouraging instead of demanding more from a person.
"A leader knows e way, goes e way & shows e way." So instead of pushing, I muz be an example, so when ppl see how much burden I have yet I'm able 2 overcome, they too will be motivated & inspired. Then when I speak, it'll carry weight & ppl will listen.

I'm a Charged Up Prayer Warrior!

2006-05-13T00:39:00.000+08:00

Was an awesome svc today. Reached @ 5pm. Thought of having dinner then queue, but apparently there was a queue since 12pm! WoW.. Talk about being hungry 4 e word.

Thank God! When I went in, many of the seats were already booked, but an empty space 6 rows from e front on e choir side caught my eye. Apparently there were ppl standing there, but they were not occupying e seat. It's as if God had reserved those seats 4 me. lol Mom came 4 svc today. Praise God! The last time she came was during our time @ holiwood theatre. She sat w my uncle way back. Where I was sitting was too loud 4 her. lol But praise God she came.Think it encouraged her too, coz my mom is a prayer warrior. She's so faithful, she prays 2-3 times a day. Once in e morning when she wakes up, sometimes in e afternoon, & b4 she sleeps. God always seems 2 listen 2 her prayers. ;)

Wat a great svc. When singing e praise song, I almost cried as e lyrics seaped into my soul. Pst Phil talked about rising up 2 a new level of prayer. Not of whimpy little weak prayers, but praying like how God will feel. Spent most of e time praying in e Spirit. He also touched slightly on having e vision that God put in us 2 be rekindled. On e whole, God was speaking 2 me. All that I've gone through & written in my blog those far, was a build up, a preparation 4 today. So when God speaks through Pst Phil, I can relate 2 it. Many times during e sermon, I felt God saying: "this msg is for u." I love U my God, & I'll love U more & more each day. :D

Feel so charged up & loved by God. Was so tempted 2 give up on my vision & start a new 1, but God never ever askes us 2 change our vision, but 2 overcome!
God sees a situation here on earth, He is burdened by it, but He instead of doing something about it, He puts e burden into OUR HEARTS! So when we see e same situation, we r also burdened by it & Y ask God: "God! How?" When WE set e problem b4 God, He charges us 2 pray & WE do something about it.
Many ppl get e above equation all jumbled up. So when things r not going our way, pray, pray, pray, believe, do & trust God. ;)

My God is an awesome God!!

2006-05-12T02:02:00.000+08:00

Was feeling rather down juz now. Feel like I was falling sick & wasn't feeling so good emotionally. Juz When I wanted 2 sleep it off, God sent an angel! Yes He did! Her name is Elizebeth Gail Wilmot, my childhood friend. :) Thanks gal.. @ e moment when iwas almost asleep, she sent me an innocent pic msg. But through it, He showed me that He cares, He's thinking of me & that there r others out there who cares for me too. :) I realised I needed 2 enter God's presence. Sleeping won't make matters better, it juz stores up e trash. It's like e house is dusty & dirty, n instead of sweeping up e mess, u sweep it under e carpet! So instead of cleaning, u r juz accumulating, which makes e situation now even worse! lol

Had a great time in God's presence; I always do nowadays. Thank U Jesus. :)
Started by dedicating e time 2 God (It always help ;) ). The song "My God Is An Awesome God" came into my head. Simple song w only 4 lines:

MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD
HE REIGNS FROM HEAVEN ABOVE
WITH WISDOM, POWER & LOVE
MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD

It's an old yet powerful song. Sang it for ages.. Soon I found myself first jumping, then dancing, then twirling round my room!!! Was reminded of king David, how he took off his robes & danced b4 God. lol It's great 2 b able 2 express urself b4 e King of Kings sometimes. God desires a relationship w us, not a ritual routine of bowing down, clasping of hands kind of prayer.. We muz come out of our box. Be led by e Holy Spirit. ;)

God knows our needs & desires of our heart, but sometimes we ourselves don't! That's Y it is written, 2 pray & make our request known 2 God is for our benefit! Coz when we pray, we edify ourselves & it is through prayer we really come 2 know wat we really want! It's like thinking "I'm thirsty & need a drink", & saying out loud: "I'm thirsty! I need a drink!" It produces 2 different results. Sometimes by juz thinking it, e need for it is not that great, coz it's juz a thought. But when u say it out loud, u edify wat u r feeling & take decisive action! Talk about Power of Confession! So I know wat I want in my head, but I'll keep confessing, edifying myself, & walk towards my goal! Amen!

Got charged up n energized, God filled up my emotional tank, & e sickly feeling turns out 2 b hunger pangs. *growwl* lol. Praise U Jesus. Gonna grab a bite then hit e sack. :)

What a Day..

2006-05-11T23:26:00.001+08:00

The title says it all. *phew* I'm poofed. Woke up @ 11am, went 2 have lunch w my parents then went Bras Basah Mac 2 study w Davin, YuZhen & ShiYi.

2 CG leaders & 1 soon 2 be, had a great time w them, Davin started his matchmaking nonsense again. lol Don't understand Y some ppl r so fearful of CG leaders. They r also human, they eat, drink, & know how 2 have fun too, yet some ppl feel uptight & unnatural around them. Guess it's e kind of relationship they choose to build. Some ppl open up, some build a defensive wall for fear of being classifed as worldly.. :s Mental block. Muz pray for good, strong relationships 2 be built. Relationships not based on fear & rules, but on respect & openess. If not it'll only be a barrier preventing growth.

Studied 3hrs then went 2 Kallang 2 recky the place for this sat workout. Went 2 my tuition kids place after that. He'd finished his examz, but I promised 2 go swimming w him, so my word is my bond. haha.. Really love kids. They're a joy 2 be w. In future I hope 2 have 3 kids. ;)

Every man muz have a vision, a purpose 2 run after. Without which a man is aimless, dead, out of God's will! Feeling a little disappointed, coz lately, a few have not been so encouraging. In many cases they seem 2 be right in wat they say. But hey! The vision is mine, so I'll run e course w diligence. A man plans his ways, but God directs his path. If something doesn't work out, CHANGE E METHOD. God never said 2 change e dream! Would Pst Kong or Rev Ulf be where they r if they were so easilt affected by wat others say? Thank God 4 e book of Job, coz many times when i feel like giving up, I'm reminded of him. He was a Godly man, & he had a vision that he will worship God & honor Him inspite of his situation. Although his close friendz did not see eye 2 eye w him. He knew wat he was doing, & where he was going. Thank God 4 his faith, w/o it, I wouldn't find e courage or strength 2 carry on. Thank God 4 e bible. (L) :D

Went 2 watch MI3 w Irenus, Bryan & Kenneth. Great show! 11/10 on goodness. :) It's of this secret agent who decided 2 stop field work & teach recruits instead becoz he decided 2 settle down. However when his newly wedded wife got kidnapped, he went all e way out 2 save his wife. Even did a lot of silly things that almost got him killed. HaHa.. It is true. A man will do all things 4 e 1 he loves, even if it kills him. ;p

God I trust in U.
Even if the world was for me but U r not,
all that I have in my heart will fail.
The rains will come, fire will break out,
all e planning in e world cannot stop Ur Hand.
Who can command U or tell U wat 2 do?
Was not all created for Ur glory?

So I will trust in U my God,
my Alpha & Omega; beginning & end,
Out of love & compassion U created,
2 glorify & reflect Ur Greatness.
A man may plan his ways,
but U r the 1 who directs his path.
U r upright, U r Holy, U r faithful.
Man may fail but U never fail.
So I will trust in U & wait upon U,
my Lord, my God, my 1st love.

Sometimes it's so much easier expressing oneself in writing.. :)

Good, Bad & Ugly.. lol

2006-05-11T01:01:00.000+08:00

Went 2 have my hair cut. Think God made me w short hair. Definately look better. Look less sleepy, more fit. Caught a few ppl looking my way after that. lol

Saw Serene @ City Hall she was going 4 make-up artist meeting. Had dinner w her @ Carl's Jr. Spent $21 on juz 2 of us. The portion was soooo big we couldn't finish our burgers & hardly touched our fries. We both learned a valueable lesson today: Never go 2 Carl's Jr unless 2 u running on an empty tank! lol

Finally bought my stuff. Thanks 2 Serene whole helped me. Sadly my 1st paper is on her birthday. :( Furthurmore she doesn't have time 2 spare. Double whammy.. :(

But I trust in God, everything in due time & season runs it's course. God makes all things beautiful in HIS TIME. :D

So Cute!!!

2006-05-10T00:12:00.000+08:00

Mom cooked roast beef today. Was totally yummy!! She had 1 BIG meat, roasted it, sliced it into bite size pieces, made some gravy, & walla~ beef sandwiches!! YUMMY!! :p Missed home cooked food 4 1 month. Wolfed down 5 or 6 of them i think. lol There goes my waistline. :p

Went 2 visit my grandma after that. Totally awesome! Got 2 see my 2 youngest cousins. They r soooo cute... 1 more WIP! lol He or she will be due end of e year I think. 3 is a good number. In future I'd also wanna have 3 kids. 2 boys, 1 girl hopefully. :p

Was supposed 2 have SF training @ nite, but cancelled due 2 bad weather. In e army we classify it as 'CAT 1' (lightning storm). Ended up having dinner w Ian & Neo @ Pasta Mania, Bugis. More fattening food. :p Love spending time w Neo. Such a great guy. His easy nature & optimism inspires me. :) Went 2 meet Ron 4 a few games of pool after that. Only @ 9pm did I remember that there was a Prayer Meeting tonite @ Jurong. Sheez! Talk about STM.

Was talking 2 some1 yesterday. That person says I behave v childish sometimes.. Wat 2 do, when I am who I am, ppl say I very fierce n unfriendly. Like that also ppl don't like. Haiz.. God I can only be who U made me 2 be. :)

KorKor likes 2 play w my drumstick, guitar & little djamba. Maybe when he grows up,
he'll be a worship leader. lol

MeiMei sleeping. Fell asleep beside her too.

OhOh..MeiMei wake up..

2 sleepy faces. lol

Day Of Fulfillment

2006-05-09T01:09:00.000+08:00

Wat a day.. Was woken up by my dad. He was craving 4 laksa, carrot cake & thick black coffee, things he missed when in Sydney during e last 1 month. So had 2 drag myself out of bed.

Watched TV w my parents when we came back. Watched "1st Knight", set in King Authur's domain. The story was of bravery, lost trust regained, loyalty & love. Really like this kinda show. Feel I can relate a lot 2 it. Learn a lot too although it's juz a story.

Went 4 tuition after that. My kid's mid term test is on Wednessday. Muz pray earnestly 4 him. Gave him another test, didn't do as well as I'd expected, 75%. But it's still an GREAT accomplishment taking into consideration he failed last yr. :p The boy talked about backsliding on-line in e afternoon. Guess he was discouraged somehow. Encouraged him a bit. He was fine when I arrived 4 tuition.

Met up w Davin & e rest of SIM gang after that. Managed 2 squeeze in 3hrs of study. Was late in sending in SF updated particulars. So much 2 do. This guy, +30yrs started talking 2 me when I was studying, & all Wenfu could do was give a mischevious smile. Thanks man. Sent YuZhen home. Enjoy talking 2 her, she's so optimistic all e time. She really seems 2 know how go into a person's heart & relate. Thanks gal. ;) Less than a yr 2 go. I'll be praying 4 u. ;p

Renewing My Mind!

2006-05-08T00:51:00.000+08:00

WoW.. Wat a day.. Talk about being in God's favour.

Woke up late today. 9am! CG start @ 10am. Rushed my morning routines, had 2 clear 2 house a little parents coming back @ nite. :p Juz left my house when Serene called me. She found her way 2 Punggol when CG was @ Parkway!! The place she was @ was soo out of e way, no taxi wanted 2 take e call. lol Had 2 make a tough judgement call. It's pretty bad if e guitarist is late 4 CG, but I remember some1 once 'joked': "Darryl!! How could u leave ur sheep lost!" lol Thanks Millie. :p Made a detour. Arrived @ CG place @ 10:10am, Sis Jo & most of e members not there. Praise the Lord! :p Talk about doing wat is right & all things will fall into place..

Was supposed 2 go out w Serene 2 check something out. But then we made a detour.. Thanks.. U really made my day. :D

HPT was good today. Had 2 learn a new beat. Kindda like e groove. :) Out of e blue Jennifer asked me 2 teach MTT 2 play Alpha. Caught me off guard. Didn't prepare for it. Totally forgot e sequence. *pengz* Thank goodness managed 2 teach them e whole of part 'C' after making much error. lol :p Some of e guys were jamming w Bro Boon after prac. Was awesome! Wish i could upload it here.

After keeping our stores rushed 2 e airport 2 pick up my parents. Praise e Lord they're finally home after 1 LONG month. Was too quiet @ home. lol Kana scolded again when @ e airport. Forgot how many IEMs (In Ear Monitors) SF supposed 2 have. That was totally my fault. I must be more sharp in e things I do. Have 2 be accountable 2 God 4 e lives of e ppl & e equipment He has put in my hands. Pray, Pray, Pray, Apply, Aplly, Apply! I CAN DO IT THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!

Arms aching from yesterday's workout. Boy I needa get back in shape..
Am happy today. Breaking down e wall. :D

Vote for e 1st time :)

2006-05-07T01:04:00.000+08:00

Slept only 5hrs last nite. Couldn't really focus e rest of e day bcoz of that. Woke up @ 9am, went 2 e voting stsion juz opposite my house (so near! lol). Took less than 5min. *phew* almost voted 4 e wrong party (haven't wake up yet. :p).

Got 2 redhill juz in time, 11am. Trying 2 set a good example by being on time. It's not easy being a leader sometimes as I've learned. U gotta be focused, determined, set a good example & be encouraging @ e same time. lol Was disappointed that only 10 ppl showed up. But all things start small. I believe that w hard work & perseverance, the other people will see our effort & be encouraged 2 join us. :D Did a 15min run around Redhill. 2km I think. Went over 2 e fitness station nearby & did some 2 sets of staion training. Can't do much now as everybody's body is not yet conditioned. Relaxed @ e playground after that. lol Headed 2 Ikea 4 a feast after that.So sinful, ate so much. lol Joked & relaxed, got 2 know e others a little better. Learned that Verena, e 10yr old girl is half Swiss, & she's sooooo very shy & quiet. Her mom on e other hand is e opposite, outgoing & funny. lol Had a great time talking 2 them. :)

Service was awesome today. Pst Casey Treat. His 1st time in our church, looks like an actor.
The sermon was good. About prospering in ALL areas, not only finances. 2 do that u need 2 shift from being carnal minded to being God minded, meaning, thinking like how God will think, look through His eyes. Wanna prosper in all ares, especially in my relationship. God I believe it in U, when U say it will happen. I WILL plan & walk according 2 ur word.

Celebrated Sis Jo's birthday Juz now. Waited 1hr for her b4 that. She's always soooo bz. Could see she was touched. She was totally lost 4 words, tears rolling down her cheeks. :p

Sis Jo standing on e steps, addressing her audience.

Finally spent time w e CG. Went 2 TM 2 have dinner & played pool. Supposed 2 have a high priority gig 4 PM Lee. Bro Boon called @ 4pm & told me 2 get 20 ppl! So last min, but it's like that in ministry sometimes, &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; i do love e challenge. ;p It was a frantic franzy, put thank God Kenneth & Yee Hao were there 2 help me call e ppl. Thanks guyz u were great. Most of e ppl I needed were already in e service. lol Wanted 2 get Zhu involved too, but sadly she wasn't really prepared. U can do it! I have faith in u gir.. JiaYou!! ;)

Tomorrow gonna be a long day. Have 2 rush 2 e airport after prac. Parents finally coming home. It won't be so lonely @ home anymore, but it also means more noise. :p

Last time I can use e tub. It's sooo comfortable after a long tiring day lol

Waste Of Time? No Way!

2006-05-05T03:44:00.000+08:00

Met Ian this afternoon, @ Marina Square again. lol Went 2 buy jeans from S&K, cost me $90 bucks! It looks so funky I dare not wear it, but no choice, muz wear this sat. Wardrobe running out of claothing. HaHa.. They had a shop selling Astroboy clothing too. Went Carl's Jr after that. Shared 2 boxes of 'Chillie Cheese Fries' (highly recommended :p) free flow coke. Felt like a couple. lol j/k ;)

Went for tuition after that. Bought a workbook for him & gave him a surprise test. He took 1hr 2 do a 2hr paper, & scored 78/80! I'm Sooo proud of him! :) While he was doing e test, took e time 2 do some "folding work". HaHa.. Confused?? It's a little thing I've been doing 4 more than a month now. :p

Went down 4 BS after that. Was 2hrs early. Ended up watching e korean soap oprah & doing more "folding". Joanne tried 2 do 1, but gave up even b4 completing half of it. lol & u wonder why I'm taking so long 2 complete it. :p Well I've got another 15 days 2 complete e work. & YES! It is worth it! BS ended @ midnight. Praise God it's e last lesson. Can't stay out late anymore, examz a few weeks away. "Gifts of The Holy Spirit" is simply AWESOME! It teaches us how 2 flow w e Holy Spirit & brings us up another level altogether. For those of u who find BS a chore, PLZ! I BESEECH U, PERSEVERE ON!!!! All that u learn is 2 build u up for something greater. If u do not build your foundations right, u will not be able 2 apprehend wat is taught here. DO NOT LIMIT URSELF MY FRIENDS! HaHa.. I don't usual emphasize like that, so U BETTER GET E POINT! lol

Time 2 sleep. Haven't planned this sat workout yet. Kanna by Jennifer already. lol :p

Astroboy 2 e rescue!!! HaHaHa... ;)

It's Not About Me..

2006-05-04T01:00:00.000+08:00

Today was an ok day. Met up w Liz my childhood friend whom i knew in sunday schhol. Used 2 tease her & pull her hair. HaHa.. My my.. How we've grown. HaHa.. Now we tease each other w words. Take care my DEAR friend. I thank God for having u. :) Went 2 'Skin' 2 check on an item. Had chocolate milk shake @ Secret Receipes after that, juz realise we were teasing each other a little about how we have deep dark secrets. lol

can u guess how much it cost?? :p

Elizebeth Gail Wilmot, my childhood friend. She also took part in this year's Chingay, wearing e Chomsam I think..

Met met up w Derek, Micheal & Julia after that. Supposed 2 play basketball, but poor Julia & Micheal didn't have a chance 2 play. They went TM instead 2 fellowship. Sorry guyz, feel like i pang se u. :p

Went down 2 Singapore Casket after that. Jem's grandfather passed away. Surprisingly, they took it quite well. They were smiling & entertaining guests. I was introduced 2 e rest of Jem's family & some of his relatives. Seems like they know a lot aout me. They were so nice & hospitable, it made me blush a little, it was like I was part of e family. :p What have i done 2 deserve such friendship? All I can do is thank God for His Grace & Mercy, for giving me a friendship I never thought possible. It is not by my might or works that i have such a wonderful friend. Thank U Jesus.

Was reading this book "It's not about me", by Max Luado. Great book! Talks about shifting our focus on 'I attitude', 2 a God centred 1. Spent an hour in e bathtub reading it. lol Parents coming back from overseas soon, so better use e bathtub as much as I can. :p

Read 2 chapters. Talked about how juz 1 glimpse of God's glory can propel a person from where he is, 2 where God wants Him 2 be, & carrying His glory, we will be able 2 do all things even when e world may seem 2 be against us. All that God does & we should do, is 2 glorify Him. Coz that's only way ppl r gonna know Him & come into His presence. It's like we r all in a sinking boat, & if the rescuer does not show his capabilities & capacity, he would not be able 2 earn e trust of e ppl he's trying 2 save. The next chapter was about us glorifying Him. It's like us watching an awesome show like 'Matrix', after that, we can do nothing but talk about the show telling how awesome it is. It is e same w God. Once we've had a taste of Him & His glory, all we can do is boast of Him!

Feel so blessed these few weeks. Though some areas r still WIP, I will trust in God, worship Him & glorify Him, coz in His time, He makes all things fall in place. What an awesome God I serve.

Bravo, GOD, Bravo!
Gods & all angels shout, "Encore!"
In awe before the glory,
In awe of GOD's visible power.
Stand at attention!
Dress your best to honour Him!

GOD thunders across the waters,
Brilliant, His voice & His face, streaming brightness-
GOD, accross the flood waters.

GOD's thundering tympanic,
GOD's thunder symphonic.

GOD's thunder smashes cedars,
GOD topples the northern cedars.

The mountain ranges skip like spring colts,
The high ridges jump like wild kid goats.

GOD's thunder spits fire.
GOD thunders, the wilderness quakes;
He makes the desert of Kadesh shake.

GOD's thunder sets the oak trees dancing,
A wild dance, whirling; the pelting rain strips their branches.
We fall to our knees- we call out, "GLORY!"

(Psalms 29:1-9 MSG)

Really like this version. Very expressive & colourful. But u should read the NKJV version as well. :)

Revelation In a Tub.. lol

2006-05-03T02:57:00.000+08:00

Juz got out of e tub. Had a bubble bath. Haha.. Finally, 3 weeks after my parents left, i decided 2 use e tub. Spent half an hour in there. Almost fell asleep. lol

Said a short prayer b4 soaking myself, didn't know God would answer so quickly. I was floating on my back (yes although my tub is small, it is still possible), began sinking after a while as I tried different breathing methods 2 keep me afloat. It got 2 a point where e water came over my face. Only my mouth & nose were above e water. Then God spoke.

What is keeping u afloat? Is it not e air in ur lungs. Inhale & u will float, exhale & u will sink. ("what simple logic" I thought 2 myself.) Ur life is like this, e air u breath is like a dream/vision. Whether it stays afloat & alive is up 2 u. Even though, u r barely afloat in ur dream/vision, we muz not let go of it, for when we do, we will sink! Instead, we should enlarge our capacity 2 take in more & air.

Was meditating on this when God furthur showed me: "wat r ur greatest fear? Losing her?" When i really thought about it, I realise that was not e case. Instead I was afraid of losing the present time w her. I was afraid she'd lose her cuteness & innocence. The way she smiles showing all her pearly white teeth. How she wears her skirt & looks so gir gir. Then it struck me like a tonne of bricks! I was being selfish! I was afraid I'd lose e feeling for her as she grows older & loses all that I've come 2 love about her! Instead of being an inspiration & blessing 2 her, instead of giving her reasons 2 keep on smiling & being cute & innocent, I was being possessive. I wanted 2 keep her 4 myself. In a way, I was robbing her of all reasons 2 stay e way she is! Lovely & pure.

I feel like a total idiot! A total jerk! God plz forgive me. Thank U 4 showing me e error of my ways. Plz continue 2 guide me 2 treat her right, as how U would treat her. That she will be able 2 continue 2 shine for U & bless others w her smile.

Don't know how 2 apologise 2 her, but I pray that I'd be able 2 be there 4 her, 2 encourage & support, instead of being a stumbling block. Let all that i do be seasoned w salt, accompannied w sincerity.

Sianzz

2006-05-03T01:21:00.000+08:00

Stayed @ home e whole day today. A whole 24hrs gone 2 waste. Sianz.. Irritated her again. Hmmm.. Knew it was a bad idea 2 stay @ home. The mind wonders when u've got nothing 2 do. Learnt my lesson e hard way. @ least Serene was supportive. Thank u my friend. :)

Hellooo Blogspot!!!

2006-05-02T03:50:00.000+08:00

Decided 2 change blog. Friendster doesn't support flashbox. So sad. Had 2 copy paste my last few entries. Still haven't got a hang of blogging yet.. But in due time, It'll be a stinch. ;) wish I could put smileys in. lol

Woke up @ 1pm. Couldn't find ppl 2 have lunch w, so ate by myself. Did 4 days worth of laundry. Ended up I didn't have anything nice 2 wear today. lol

Met Joanne & Jem for dinner @ Taka. Visited Zhu.. She's getting prettier & prettier everyday i see her. She's also getting close 2 Mr C. :( Feeling so lost. God I worship U & trust in U. Though I do not see e desired results now, I'll keep on keeping on. Plz guide me.

Ron staying over @ my place. He was dismissed @ midnight, have 2 report early tomorrow morning, so he decided 2 bunk out w me. Joanne & Serene gonna transfer over 2 E301. In a way it'll be like old timez, but think she's slightly affected by e change. No 1 likes sudden changes, esp when u've juz adapted 2 1. But some times God needs 2 shift us around till we r where we r supposed 2 be. And not all routes will be easy & painless. It's all a matter of exposure, maturity & timing. In God's season & time.

Have 2 get down 2 studying. Examz only a few days away & I'm totally not prepared. Too much on my mind: Examz, family, Zhu, NDP, SF. So much 2 do, so little time. Lord I trust all that I have into Ur hands 4 Ur glory. Plz strengthen & guide me everyday, every moment I have belongs 2 U.

I love U Jesus

2006-05-02T03:43:00.000+08:00

Today was a marvelous day. Started out slow though. :p Had only 5hrs of sleep, but thank God for His strength. Got recharged during svc today. I love U Jesus.

Woke up late, 9am. Supposed 2 meet e rest @ expo then, but all of us overslept, except for Julia. lol Thank God for her faithfulness we got seats near e front.

Was really blessed by the word today, was actually falling asleep during svc, but suddenly e Holy Spirit woke me up saying," Hey! This is wat I've been telling u e past few weeks. Wake up!"

fervant - hot, on fire
passion - is fire on e inside that will show on e outside
- is a driving force which keeps u going & not burn out
intelligence alone gets u nowhere
passion + attitude does
enthusiasm + persistence = result
guard e fire, keep fueling it, coz it's our responsibility.
apathy- no passion
lukewarmness- serving God w/o offending e devil.

4 passion killers:

1. complacency
- let whatever u want 2 see take care of itself, meaning, let nature take it's course.
- age/time muz not stop u from going 2 where u muz be.
- juz when u think u've arrived, guess what, there's more! :)

2. difficult circumstances
- w/o problems, we will never learn 2 overcome.

3. unbalanced lifestyle
- doing too much will get u burned out.
- success- rhythem of work & rest, give & take, pushing & letting go. know e timing

4. familiarity

Fire Goers:

1. activate ur spiritual gift
- when u use ur gift, u get charged up/excited

2. associate w ppl of passion

3. return 2 ur 1st love
- get back 2 where u left off

4. pray 4 passion
- Jesus baptizes us w e Holy Spirit & fire.

WHAT U TOLERATE WILL NEVER CHANGE.
NEVER WAIT FOR TOMORROW.

Was really blessed. Feel so charged up & excited!! :) Want e book "God & the Davinci code" or something like that. So many claims & theory coming up. Need see wat God says about it.

Feeling very tired today. Not enough sleep. Suddenly during SF training today was bombarded w a lot of responsiblity. Bro Boon & Jennifer were not around till 6+. So had 2 oversee every1. Also had 2 teach e snare ppl around me. HaHa.. was learning too & had 2 teach everybody. Was kindda stressed coz there were drummers in my group, & due 2 my tiredness was afraid i'd be harsh 2 e ppl. :p Thank God that did not happen. For e 1st time, I played & ppl record. Honestly, I'm e least qualified among e performing pioneers. Thank God 4 His grace.

My God is GREAT. My God is AWESOME. My God is WONDERFUL. I love HIM, & I know HE loves me too. Sensed Him w me a lot today, altough there was much 2 do, God is always with me & for me. No matter wat happens, I will always love U LORD!

Sunday, April 30, 2006 Permalink Comments (0)

What a Day! Thank U Jesus 4 Ur strength!

2006-05-02T03:23:00.000+08:00

Phew! what a day indeed.. Long, hectic & tiring. Thank God for His supernatural strength, if not i would have fallen asleep driving home juz now..

Woke up @ 8pm. Late.. Went warehouse 2 collect some stuff for training, met Luke @ 9:30am 2 learn e beats, got 2 teach e ppl. So sad, not many ppl turned up for training today. Makes me so AARRGGHHH!! when i see such things. Here we r sacrificing our time, energy & effort 2 do our best n glorify Jesus, yet many ppl not running w e same vision. Makes me wanna cry sometimes. Many of us, having probs, exams & stress, yet we do our best & all, yet others taking it so lightly. Guess it's bcoz of POS & Emerge games. Muz be more understanding & be bigger on e inside. Jesus I trust U to work things out. We r here 2 glorify U! not ourselves!

After prac actually went 2 expo 2 book seats for e CG. Went in illegally b4 e doors were opened. HaHa.. But even in the bible it says "the violent shall take it by FORCE! & God will give it to them bcoz of their faith."

The gig today was good. 200 tables! WOW!!! & all e big shots there. A PAP candidate was there too as e guest of honour. He knew who we were & where we came from. He was like:" U guess r from City Harvest! I saw u during Chingay!" We r really making an impact in e marketplace. Everywhere we go, ppl know about us. Since e start of e year, we've had almost 20 gigs. That's like once every week! Supposed 2 have more, but we rejected a few & e church rejected a few too. If not too shiong also. :p Sadly like I say, not many ppl in SF have caught e vision yet. Tried imparting it 2 some ppl, but she thought i was throwing my authority around, sad :'(. Learned 1 good thing. If u wanna go places, u have 2 be willing 2 sacrifice all else, & u gotta press in. Things don't juz fall on ur lap.

Kana whacked by Bro Boon again.. Thought we lost a Tom~Tom, actually drummer Micheal borrowed it. *Phew* Brought all 12 Tom~Toms out instead of 9 which Bro Boon instructed. Took up a lot of space. Got scolded 4 that too, but thank God i brought them, coz there was 1 part, all of us had 2 play & there were juz enough Toms! lol So i thank God for the scolding, even though it may sound unreasonable @ times, but i learn lots from this great man of God. ;p
Gonna crash now.. EEeekk.. Only 5hrs sleep! Dear God, plz give me rest that tomorrow i'll be totally recharged & renewed, let ur glory fall on me tat others can see U in me.

She came into my mind a lot today. I love her, but gotta go slow. God I trust in U, I lift her into ur hands. Plz protect her & deal w my insecurities. She is indead beautiful in God's eyes & mine. But God has e 1st place, her family 2nd, & hopefully i can have 3rd.
ZZzzz..

can't even see e end to e tables. think those seating halfway can't even hear us lol

Saturday, April 29, 2006 Permalink Comments (0)

Tired..

2006-05-02T03:21:00.000+08:00

Was a long day today. Haven't been having enough sleep lately with the emotional & study stress lurking around me. Trying 2 distract myself in all possible ways & wind that praising & worshipping God is the best solution, coz God never fails us. :)

Woke up @ almost noon. Was really Sa.. Stoned for an hour before meeting Ian for lunch. Went to storehub 2 get our stores ready. Prac was @ 5pm, Suntec Convention Hall for NTUC. They really like us lots I think, coz they asked us 2 perform 3 different instances, & they'd do a camera sweep over us. lol so excited.. Many of the election candidates will be there tomorrow, so we gotta do our best.

Let's see.. Have 2 wake up @ 7am, meet Ian for breakfast, go back storehub 2 get some equipment, meet Luke @ 9:30 2 learn some stuff, prac starts @ 10am. 1pm we supposed 2 end, then I gotta bring e guyz for physical training & a tan. Gotta be @ suntec again @ 5pm for the gig which will start @ 7pm & end around 9pm hopefully. still considering whether I should send my cousin off @ e airport. Midnight flight *faint*.

Gonna be a long long day tomorrow. Better get as much ZZzzz as possible. Oh yah! Went to play billard w my cousins juz now. Been a long time since i went out w them. 1 of them lives in Australia, another training 2 be a pilot, so also dont see him much. Last 1 stays @ home all day playing com game. *Peng!* All asking me where's my gf. Wished i could proudly tell about her. But I'll trust in God & know that in HIS time, all things WILL work for the good of His ppl.
Time 2 sign off. ZZZzzz..

Friday, April 28, 2006 Permalink Comments (0)

In The Beginning..

2006-05-02T03:03:00.000+08:00

Been wanting 2 start s blog for ages.. Finally got down to doing it. lol "Y start now?" U might ask. Let's juz say that certain events have occurred & I need an outlet. The need 2 let my heart out in a place where only God, I & my close friends will go to, w/o sounding like I'm in a pitiful or sorry state. Haha.. So in another words, this is a dumping ground for all e trash that happens, but more than that, I hope that by expressing myself, I can turn it around into something positive 2 encourage myself n hopefully my readers.

Been feeling really crappy lately.. I'm in love, but I can't seem 2 control my emotions. It seems that all I try 2 do turns out 2 be wrong, having a -ve effect. God help me!! I love her, but instead of attracting her 2 me & being a blessing 2 her, I'm repelling & irritating her. I try 2 know her more, understand her, but there is no breakthrough. Instead the matter gets worse! God plz help me, coz she's important to me, & i'm losing her, even her friendship. Plz deal with me.. HELP!

Feel so helpless, so vulnerable. Been calling out 2 God, but I don't seem 2 be getting a reply. Yet @ times like this, I hear His still small voice calling out, "Worship Me.." Many times I answer back, "God how do u expect me 2 worship & trust U in my current state?!" I was angry, with myself for allowing things 2 go so bad, & with God for allowing it to happen. But God juz keeps saying, "Worship Me.." It's so hard to some times, but in my years I've learned 2 listen 2 Him & trust Him. So I worshipped. When I started, I felt like crap, didn't feel like continuing @ all, but His voice keeps ringing in my ear "Worship Me.." It might sound freaky 2 some ppl, but i've learned 2 hear & trust His voice, so i juz do it!

He showed me many things that faithful day I trust Him & heed His voice:

1) worship is a decision we have to make. In spite of how we r feeling, whether we r having a good or bad day, we HAVE TO worship Him bcoz of who HE is, not how we feel. Be like king David who worship God @ all times of e day, even when he was surrounded by his enemies. It's a matter of ATTITUDE. So let's get our heart right.

2) when we worship God, we tell devil that no matter what happens, our faith & relationship with God will not be shaken. In a way, we r allowing God 2 encourage us. Like Job, a God fearing man who kept His commandments. God allowed him to go through trials & tribulations, but he chose 2 have the right attitude 2 praise & worship instead of cursing Him or feeling sorry for himself.

3) when we worship, it allows our spirit 2 intertwind w God's spirit, n He shows us things like what i've shared so far.

4) when we worship, all things fall in place, coz God hears our prayers accompanied with our worship, & it pleases Him.

5) everything we go through is common 2 man. When we think we r alone, He shows us that we r not & He brings in ppl we can relate to.
So up till now, He hasn't shown me a way out of my desert, but He continues 2 ask me to 'WORSHIP ME' & trust in Him, & I'll keep on doing that, coz MY GOD IS AN AWESOME & FAITHFUL GOD.

Thursday, April 27, 2006 Permalink Comments (0)